Rollercoaster Ride Yesterday...

#1
Okay so, I'll start by saying that I don't like losing. That can be dangerous sometimes.. and I've been beat twice in 2009 and I almost got beat yesterday. When I say beat.. I mean the casino has literally taken me for everything I had in the bank and left me with just enough to survive on to build my bankroll back up. It happened once last year when I lost $4000 in one night but I came back the next day to win $7000. And it happened another time playing blackjack on Bodog...

started with $200, built it up to $2000, lost it all. So I put more and more money in... I got up to $5000.. and lost it all.... in the end I lost somewhere around $5000 of my money, in addition to any profits I had going for me....it's a gutwrenching feeling... and last night I came so close to doing it again.

I go in to Harrahs with $500. Feeling pretty confident, the night before I played and left with $550 up, so to play $500 today I felt good. I was going to leave after doubling up.. well, it didn't turn out to be that easy.

I sit down on the blackjack machine. A lot of people are skeptic about playing on the machine, I'm not because I've won far more than I've lost on the machine over the long haul. Additionally, the machine gives me the option to surrender, whereas the tables do not. So anyways, I put my $500 in the machine... long story short, I lose it within 10 minutes.

No big deal.. I go get another $500 from the ATM... lose that too... Now I'm starting to feel it... I can quit now and still have a decent bankroll for my vegas trip next month... but like I said earlier, I really don't like losing. So I go back to the ATM, try to take out $1000, which is over my debit card limit... transaction declined... f'it, I get an advance from the cage, pay the $40 fee, and I go back to the machine... This time I'm betting $200 per hand. It's simple; I want to either hurry up and get back to even or just put myself out of my misery quickly. I lose that $1000 faster than I lose the original $500... and then the familiar feeling comes back.

There's a certain amount of money that you can lose where it's "okay".. and then there's an amount where "you shouldn't have bet in the first place, but you'll be able to recover from the loss without much impact to your normal life". You're thinking about your finances and your job and the money you have coming to you from those things and realize that you'll be alright if you just quit now.

And then there's a point where you've lost sooooo much that you just don't care anymore. You keep enough in your bank for your immediate finances, maybe you're even tapping into that... but you just don't care. At this point, you're at the mercy of mathematics. Mathematics says you have almost a 50/50 shot at getting your money back, assuming you put up the full amount of what you lost. Mathematics says that if you have a good chance to walk away unscathed if you are willing to put everything on the line, all it takes is one bet.

For me, being down $2000, I was there. I still had money in the bank, but losing it would have forced me to stop playing altogether and focus on recouping for a good while just to get back to where I was before I came in the casino. I didn't want to lose $2000 again, so I took $1500 more out... and instead of going to the machine, I went to the high stakes blackjack table... sat down at the $50 minimum table... and let mathematics decide my fate.

First hand, I bet $500... win. Suddenly, it seems possible.

Next hand, I lose.

Next hand, I win.

This goes on for a few hands, and then I get ballsy. I put up $1000, and the dealer questions me if I'm sure.... I chicken out and ask if I'm allowed to take it back. The cards haven't been dealt yet so he lets me take $500 back. The dealer hits blackjack and sweeps my $500 off the table. Losing $500 never felt so good.

I play a few more $500 hands and pretty much stay at even, and then I do bet $1000.. I win.. $3000 on my side. $500 and I'm pretty much even for the day... I fight and fight and fight.. and sure enough I get to $4000.. quitting time. But I don't quit. Working up to $4000 seemed so easy... an extra $500 would be nice... heck, why not. I throw up another $500 bet and lose. And another.. I lose that. Down to $3000... $500 under par.

At this point, having seen $4000... having come out of the hole only to fall back in, I realize that I am still in the hole for the entire day. Just as deep as when I was down $2000... I realize that my fate is still being determined...

With $2500 in chips, I put up a $1000 bet....

I catch a pair of 8's vs a dealer's 6. Logic tells me to split. But it's going to cost me an extra $1000.... everything kinda moves in slow motion from this point forward. This is the rush that I play for. I push in an extra $1000 for the split, left with only $1000 in chips...

First 8 hand, I catch a ten to make 18. stay....

Next 8 hand, I catch a 5... totaling 13... f'it, stay.

I get up from the table and watch from far away...

The dealer flips over an 8... and then a king.... bust.

I just won $2000 in a matter of seconds..

I college my chips... tip the dealer.. and walk away with $5000... up $1500 for the night.

:)
 
#4
Skittles

Thank you for the interesting post and the brutal honesty. Brother MJ is correct, you have a problem, maybe a gambling addiction and for sure a total lack of discipline.

Stop this destructive behavior before it destroys you, I implore you.

CP
 

shadroch

Well-Known Member
#5
Skiddles837 said:
Okay so, I'll start by saying that I don't like losing. That can be dangerous sometimes.. and I've been beat twice in 2009 and I almost got beat yesterday. When I say beat.. I mean the casino has literally taken me for everything I had in the bank and left me with just enough to survive on to build my bankroll back up. It happened once last year when I lost $4000 in one night but I came back the next day to win $7000. And it happened another time playing blackjack on Bodog...

started with $200, built it up to $2000, lost it all. So I put more and more money in... I got up to $5000.. and lost it all.... in the end I lost somewhere around $5000 of my money, in addition to any profits I had going for me....it's a gutwrenching feeling... and last night I came so close to doing it again.

I go in to Harrahs with $500. Feeling pretty confident, the night before I played and left with $550 up, so to play $500 today I felt good. I was going to leave after doubling up.. well, it didn't turn out to be that easy.

I sit down on the blackjack machine. A lot of people are skeptic about playing on the machine, I'm not because I've won far more than I've lost on the machine over the long haul. Additionally, the machine gives me the option to surrender, whereas the tables do not. So anyways, I put my $500 in the machine... long story short, I lose it within 10 minutes.

No big deal.. I go get another $500 from the ATM... lose that too... Now I'm starting to feel it... I can quit now and still have a decent bankroll for my vegas trip next month... but like I said earlier, I really don't like losing. So I go back to the ATM, try to take out $1000, which is over my debit card limit... transaction declined... f'it, I get an advance from the cage, pay the $40 fee, and I go back to the machine... This time I'm betting $200 per hand. It's simple; I want to either hurry up and get back to even or just put myself out of my misery quickly. I lose that $1000 faster than I lose the original $500... and then the familiar feeling comes back.

There's a certain amount of money that you can lose where it's "okay".. and then there's an amount where "you shouldn't have bet in the first place, but you'll be able to recover from the loss without much impact to your normal life". You're thinking about your finances and your job and the money you have coming to you from those things and realize that you'll be alright if you just quit now.

And then there's a point where you've lost sooooo much that you just don't care anymore. You keep enough in your bank for your immediate finances, maybe you're even tapping into that... but you just don't care. At this point, you're at the mercy of mathematics. Mathematics says you have almost a 50/50 shot at getting your money back, assuming you put up the full amount of what you lost. Mathematics says that if you have a good chance to walk away unscathed if you are willing to put everything on the line, all it takes is one bet.

For me, being down $2000, I was there. I still had money in the bank, but losing it would have forced me to stop playing altogether and focus on recouping for a good while just to get back to where I was before I came in the casino. I didn't want to lose $2000 again, so I took $1500 more out... and instead of going to the machine, I went to the high stakes blackjack table... sat down at the $50 minimum table... and let mathematics decide my fate.

First hand, I bet $500... win. Suddenly, it seems possible.

Next hand, I lose.

Next hand, I win.

This goes on for a few hands, and then I get ballsy. I put up $1000, and the dealer questions me if I'm sure.... I chicken out and ask if I'm allowed to take it back. The cards haven't been dealt yet so he lets me take $500 back. The dealer hits blackjack and sweeps my $500 off the table. Losing $500 never felt so good.

I play a few more $500 hands and pretty much stay at even, and then I do bet $1000.. I win.. $3000 on my side. $500 and I'm pretty much even for the day... I fight and fight and fight.. and sure enough I get to $4000.. quitting time. But I don't quit. Working up to $4000 seemed so easy... an extra $500 would be nice... heck, why not. I throw up another $500 bet and lose. And another.. I lose that. Down to $3000... $500 under par.

At this point, having seen $4000... having come out of the hole only to fall back in, I realize that I am still in the hole for the entire day. Just as deep as when I was down $2000... I realize that my fate is still being determined...

With $2500 in chips, I put up a $1000 bet....

I catch a pair of 8's vs a dealer's 6. Logic tells me to split. But it's going to cost me an extra $1000.... everything kinda moves in slow motion from this point forward. This is the rush that I play for. I push in an extra $1000 for the split, left with only $1000 in chips...

First 8 hand, I catch a ten to make 18. stay....

Next 8 hand, I catch a 5... totaling 13... f'it, stay.

I get up from the table and watch from far away...

The dealer flips over an 8... and then a king.... bust.

I just won $2000 in a matter of seconds..

I college my chips... tip the dealer.. and walk away with $5000... up $1500 for the night.

:)
In the immortal words of Kevin Spacey. " You need to shut up, listen and learn". Sorry to be so brutal, but you can learn much here, but first you have to forget everything you think you know and start all over.
You have a serious addiction, my friend and need help. Quickly.
 

tensplitter

Well-Known Member
#6
You've got a gambling addiction since you're in it for the thrill of gambling and not to have an advantage over the house. I have seen some blackjack machines pay EVEN MONEY for blackjacks and restrict doubling to 10 or 11.

You need to take your $5000, invest it in a 6 month CD so that you can't access those funds till the CD matures. Learn and practice how to count cards. Then use that $5000 bankroll to win in the long term. You can still get the thrill of making big bets when you do so at a high count.

I admit that I have a gambling addiction I developed from advantage-playing blackjack. I go to casinos once or twice a week. I use that gambling addiction to my advantage by playing with an advantage, so that in the long run my bankroll goes up. The reason gambling problems are bad for most people is because games have a negative expectation. If a game has a positive expectation, gambling excessively at that game will only make me more money.
 
#7
Thanks for the reality check you all. Really opened my eyes. I mean, I've always known about card counting but I never really thought it would make a difference, what's another 1~3 percent gonna do for me? Well, now I realize that it could do a lot for me. I'm not addicted by any means, I go to the casino maybe once every other month or so. But the problem is that when I do go, I tend to play pretty big (for my bankroll) and I've accepted the fact that I will lose 51~54% of the time. I'm gonna change that, starting now. I'm gonna learn to count cards.

And don't worry. I don't plan to quit my day job or anything. I can make $5000 back in a month at work. Blackjack is just something I do for fun. Admittedly, I do enjoy the rush of winning a big hand, but that's definitely not the reason that I play. I play because I like the idea of quick money and I enjoy the comps. I think anyone who steps into a casino likes the idea of quick money and comps. But I'm done with completely random betting... and no more machines.
 

pit15

Well-Known Member
#8
Skiddles837 said:
I play because I like the idea of quick money and I enjoy the comps. I think anyone who steps into a casino likes the idea of quick money and comps.
Comps?

You're not getting comped anything. YOU pay 3 - 4 times the value of whatever you're getting "comped"

Advantage players are the only ones really getting "comps".
 
#9
pit15 said:
Comps?

You're not getting comped anything. YOU pay 3 - 4 times the value of whatever you're getting "comped"

Advantage players are the only ones really getting "comps".
I'm actually up about 7 grand over the last two years of just casually playing blackjack so the free rooms and trips were actually "comped" without me paying a dime. I actually won 800 in cali... but yeah, I know what you're saying. That is, if I do even out to the true odds of basic strategy blackjack, I'll lose in the long run and those losses will be the comps I'm paying for. But so far so good, and now I'm getting on the right track before it might have gotten ugly.
 

Coach R

Well-Known Member
#10
Skiddles837 said:
Okay so, I'll start by saying that I don't like losing. That can be dangerous sometimes.. and I've been beat twice in 2009 and I almost got beat yesterday. When I say beat.. I mean the casino has literally taken me for everything I had in the bank and left me with just enough to survive on to build my bankroll back up. It happened once last year when I lost $4000 in one night but I came back the next day to win $7000. And it happened another time playing blackjack on Bodog...

started with $200, built it up to $2000, lost it all. So I put more and more money in... I got up to $5000.. and lost it all.... in the end I lost somewhere around $5000 of my money, in addition to any profits I had going for me....it's a gutwrenching feeling... and last night I came so close to doing it again.

I go in to Harrahs with $500. Feeling pretty confident, the night before I played and left with $550 up, so to play $500 today I felt good. I was going to leave after doubling up.. well, it didn't turn out to be that easy.

I sit down on the blackjack machine. A lot of people are skeptic about playing on the machine, I'm not because I've won far more than I've lost on the machine over the long haul. Additionally, the machine gives me the option to surrender, whereas the tables do not. So anyways, I put my $500 in the machine... long story short, I lose it within 10 minutes.

No big deal.. I go get another $500 from the ATM... lose that too... Now I'm starting to feel it... I can quit now and still have a decent bankroll for my vegas trip next month... but like I said earlier, I really don't like losing. So I go back to the ATM, try to take out $1000, which is over my debit card limit... transaction declined... f'it, I get an advance from the cage, pay the $40 fee, and I go back to the machine... This time I'm betting $200 per hand. It's simple; I want to either hurry up and get back to even or just put myself out of my misery quickly. I lose that $1000 faster than I lose the original $500... and then the familiar feeling comes back.

There's a certain amount of money that you can lose where it's "okay".. and then there's an amount where "you shouldn't have bet in the first place, but you'll be able to recover from the loss without much impact to your normal life". You're thinking about your finances and your job and the money you have coming to you from those things and realize that you'll be alright if you just quit now.

And then there's a point where you've lost sooooo much that you just don't care anymore. You keep enough in your bank for your immediate finances, maybe you're even tapping into that... but you just don't care. At this point, you're at the mercy of mathematics. Mathematics says you have almost a 50/50 shot at getting your money back, assuming you put up the full amount of what you lost. Mathematics says that if you have a good chance to walk away unscathed if you are willing to put everything on the line, all it takes is one bet.

For me, being down $2000, I was there. I still had money in the bank, but losing it would have forced me to stop playing altogether and focus on recouping for a good while just to get back to where I was before I came in the casino. I didn't want to lose $2000 again, so I took $1500 more out... and instead of going to the machine, I went to the high stakes blackjack table... sat down at the $50 minimum table... and let mathematics decide my fate.

First hand, I bet $500... win. Suddenly, it seems possible.

Next hand, I lose.

Next hand, I win.

This goes on for a few hands, and then I get ballsy. I put up $1000, and the dealer questions me if I'm sure.... I chicken out and ask if I'm allowed to take it back. The cards haven't been dealt yet so he lets me take $500 back. The dealer hits blackjack and sweeps my $500 off the table. Losing $500 never felt so good.

I play a few more $500 hands and pretty much stay at even, and then I do bet $1000.. I win.. $3000 on my side. $500 and I'm pretty much even for the day... I fight and fight and fight.. and sure enough I get to $4000.. quitting time. But I don't quit. Working up to $4000 seemed so easy... an extra $500 would be nice... heck, why not. I throw up another $500 bet and lose. And another.. I lose that. Down to $3000... $500 under par.

At this point, having seen $4000... having come out of the hole only to fall back in, I realize that I am still in the hole for the entire day. Just as deep as when I was down $2000... I realize that my fate is still being determined...

With $2500 in chips, I put up a $1000 bet....

I catch a pair of 8's vs a dealer's 6. Logic tells me to split. But it's going to cost me an extra $1000.... everything kinda moves in slow motion from this point forward. This is the rush that I play for. I push in an extra $1000 for the split, left with only $1000 in chips...

First 8 hand, I catch a ten to make 18. stay....

Next 8 hand, I catch a 5... totaling 13... f'it, stay.

I get up from the table and watch from far away...

The dealer flips over an 8... and then a king.... bust.

I just won $2000 in a matter of seconds..

I college my chips... tip the dealer.. and walk away with $5000... up $1500 for the night.

:)
WOW,I can't even remember what I had for lunch yesterday, let alone every hand I was dealt in my last session.
 

tensplitter

Well-Known Member
#11
You are experiencing positive variance. When you play enough hands to reach your N0, you will not be ahead anymore. Now is a great time for you to learn how to count cards and not give your winnings back.

It's not hard to remember what hands you get in blackjack, especially if they're big bets. I can even remember which kind of ten card I see if I really want to (ten, jack, queen, king).
 

flyingwind

Well-Known Member
#12
tensplitter said:
It's not hard to remember what hands you get in blackjack, especially if they're big bets. I can even remember which kind of ten card I see if I really want to (ten, jack, queen, king).
Do you have a photographic memory?
 

tensplitter

Well-Known Member
#13
I can't say I remember EVERY hand I play, but I remember the BIG wins and losses. Sometimes even down to the exact ten-value card (10, jack, queen, king) that comes out of the shoe to make or break my hand.
 

Thunder

Well-Known Member
#14
I advise you to quit going to the casino altogether. You can learn how to count but trust me, when you hit a bad run, you're going to end up resorting to the same methods you just did and resort to borrowing against your CC yet again. Soon enough, you won't make that fabulous recovery and then you'll be in real big trouble. Being a card counter is far more than just learning how to count the cards. Money management and discipline also play a very big role.
 
#15
Skiddles837 said:
Okay so, I'll start by saying that I don't like losing. That can be dangerous sometimes.. and I've been beat twice in 2009 and I almost got beat yesterday. When I say beat.. I mean the casino has literally taken me for everything I had in the bank and left me with just enough to survive on to build my bankroll back up. It happened once last year when I lost $4000 in one night but I came back the next day to win $7000. And it happened another time playing blackjack on Bodog...

started with $200, built it up to $2000, lost it all. So I put more and more money in... I got up to $5000.. and lost it all.... in the end I lost somewhere around $5000 of my money, in addition to any profits I had going for me....it's a gutwrenching feeling... and last night I came so close to doing it again.

I go in to Harrahs with $500. Feeling pretty confident, the night before I played and left with $550 up, so to play $500 today I felt good. I was going to leave after doubling up.. well, it didn't turn out to be that easy.

I sit down on the blackjack machine. A lot of people are skeptic about playing on the machine, I'm not because I've won far more than I've lost on the machine over the long haul. Additionally, the machine gives me the option to surrender, whereas the tables do not. So anyways, I put my $500 in the machine... long story short, I lose it within 10 minutes.

No big deal.. I go get another $500 from the ATM... lose that too... Now I'm starting to feel it... I can quit now and still have a decent bankroll for my vegas trip next month... but like I said earlier, I really don't like losing. So I go back to the ATM, try to take out $1000, which is over my debit card limit... transaction declined... f'it, I get an advance from the cage, pay the $40 fee, and I go back to the machine... This time I'm betting $200 per hand. It's simple; I want to either hurry up and get back to even or just put myself out of my misery quickly. I lose that $1000 faster than I lose the original $500... and then the familiar feeling comes back.

There's a certain amount of money that you can lose where it's "okay".. and then there's an amount where "you shouldn't have bet in the first place, but you'll be able to recover from the loss without much impact to your normal life". You're thinking about your finances and your job and the money you have coming to you from those things and realize that you'll be alright if you just quit now.

And then there's a point where you've lost sooooo much that you just don't care anymore. You keep enough in your bank for your immediate finances, maybe you're even tapping into that... but you just don't care. At this point, you're at the mercy of mathematics. Mathematics says you have almost a 50/50 shot at getting your money back, assuming you put up the full amount of what you lost. Mathematics says that if you have a good chance to walk away unscathed if you are willing to put everything on the line, all it takes is one bet.

For me, being down $2000, I was there. I still had money in the bank, but losing it would have forced me to stop playing altogether and focus on recouping for a good while just to get back to where I was before I came in the casino. I didn't want to lose $2000 again, so I took $1500 more out... and instead of going to the machine, I went to the high stakes blackjack table... sat down at the $50 minimum table... and let mathematics decide my fate.

First hand, I bet $500... win. Suddenly, it seems possible.

Next hand, I lose.

Next hand, I win.

This goes on for a few hands, and then I get ballsy. I put up $1000, and the dealer questions me if I'm sure.... I chicken out and ask if I'm allowed to take it back. The cards haven't been dealt yet so he lets me take $500 back. The dealer hits blackjack and sweeps my $500 off the table. Losing $500 never felt so good.

I play a few more $500 hands and pretty much stay at even, and then I do bet $1000.. I win.. $3000 on my side. $500 and I'm pretty much even for the day... I fight and fight and fight.. and sure enough I get to $4000.. quitting time. But I don't quit. Working up to $4000 seemed so easy... an extra $500 would be nice... heck, why not. I throw up another $500 bet and lose. And another.. I lose that. Down to $3000... $500 under par.

At this point, having seen $4000... having come out of the hole only to fall back in, I realize that I am still in the hole for the entire day. Just as deep as when I was down $2000... I realize that my fate is still being determined...

With $2500 in chips, I put up a $1000 bet....

I catch a pair of 8's vs a dealer's 6. Logic tells me to split. But it's going to cost me an extra $1000.... everything kinda moves in slow motion from this point forward. This is the rush that I play for. I push in an extra $1000 for the split, left with only $1000 in chips...

First 8 hand, I catch a ten to make 18. stay....

Next 8 hand, I catch a 5... totaling 13... f'it, stay.

I get up from the table and watch from far away...

The dealer flips over an 8... and then a king.... bust.

I just won $2000 in a matter of seconds..

I college my chips... tip the dealer.. and walk away with $5000... up $1500 for the night.

:)
this is an amazing story, I was reading it line by line, had my heart racing a little. Congrats
 
#19
Skiddles837 said:
This is the rush that I play for.
:)
Very telling statement here. By no means do I judge other people, and I even have good friends who go to the casino to purely gamble. They take a few hundred they're prepared to lose. If they get lucky it's a bonus. This guys gambling could get scary, especially if he has a wife and/or kids or anybody to provide for. I don't get a rush from blackjack (not to say I don't get excited about a good swing or feel happy when a good sitting concludes), but there's no way the "rush" could be worth potentially ruining your personal finances that are separate from your "blackjack bankroll". I know the original post is old, I wonder how this guy is doing and if he's continued this "style" of playing blackjack.
 

Friendo

Well-Known Member
#20
Helpful copies of original post

I particularly enjoyed the multiple responses quoting the entire original post.

I recommend a careful reading of each copy. The second through fourth copies allow for insights you will miss if you read only the original post. Complete quoted copies also are helpful in that they lengthen the thread, building important scrolling (PgDn PgDn PgDn ...) and cussing skills so useful in our careers and personal lives.

Further, quoting the entire original post enhances the stature of any reply by shining a spotlight on the erudition and sophistication of any comments following such a long quoted passage.
 
Top