The Voodoo Bible

[Katweezel]

I long wondered what motivated voodoo BJ players and I came across an old dusty book in a forgotten cranny of a haunted castle. I copied this page from the book: Voodoo Blackjack... None but the Brave. (1897, written by Stamfred Wrong, distributed by Don'sHouse Inc.)

I'd quickly realized I'd stumbled upon the Blackjack Voodoo's Bible. Here's what it said on page 795:

Voodoo clues for successful betting early in the (hand shuffled only) shoe, in order of importance...

1 Dealer busts off Ace. (This is bonanza time coming up. You can safely get out the rent money and bet right now.)
2 Dealer busts off a ten. (Almost as good, but only get out Kelly one third of your rent money.)
3 Dealer busts off 4 or 5 cards. (Good but leave rent money alone.)
4 Dealer has not busted off anything. (Find another table.)

5 The deuce is the dealer ace.
6 Never split 8s V anything.

7 NEVER mess with the Flow of Cards.
8 NEVER take the Dealer Bust Card.

9 If you busted hitting your stiffs three times in a row, you are sure - well almost sure - to win on your FOURTH attempt.
10 Never bother looking at those stupid basic strategy cards as they were made available at the casino shop. Obviously, they were designed to make idjits like you... lose.

11 Try to find a dealer with at least one J, one D and a Z in their name, as that would be very auspicious... and lucky for you. Like this: Jake Diamondz.
12 If you have an argument on your way to the casino, that could be a very good sign.

13 If you don't have an argument on your way to the casino, that could be a very good sign.
14 Never sit at the very first available table that you see. Always scout around checking for the table that hums to you. (If you don't know what that means, buy my other book.)

15 In the event that security gives you the boot, ...

(Sorry, that was where it ended, as rats had gnawed away the rest.)

Many thanks to the author Wrong for originally writing this, so long ago and many thanks to me for preserving it before the rats finished it off completely. It's obvious this was the VD Bible that many forebears read before they passed it on - word of mouth - to today's average Joe blackjack player. The Voodoo Beat pulses ever onward...

[zengrifter]

Another wasted gasbag of a post. BUT, its in the correct forum. zg

[Katweezel]

Originally Posted by zengrifter

Another wasted gasbag of a post. BUT, its in the correct forum. zg

OK zg. Gasbag again, huh? Pack your bags again. We will try again in ten days this time.