question for men

mica

Active Member
#1
greetings!

what is the best way to stop mature male BJ players from acting condescending towards me without bringing unwanted attention to myself or undue embarrassment to the guys who think a female can't count to 21?

I am a fairly good (card counting) female. I am getting a little tired of guys constantly saying: "you've got 14, 15, 16...etc ...that's not going to beat 20....you better hit that". Or...you have 18, 19, 20....not going to improve that hand...you should stand". to add insult to
injury...these remarks are often addresses to
"sweetheart"!

recently, I got fed up with a particular gentleman...after he said "you've got 19
sweetie"....I replied: "and you have 17, HONEY". although no one at the table paid any attention to his many comments to me.,,,everyones eyes widened when I spoke up....including the dealer.

any suggestions for handling situations like this without coming across as a b-----?

thanks!
 

21gunsalute

Well-Known Member
#2
mica said:
what is the best way to stop mature male BJ players from acting condescending towards me without bringing unwanted attention to myself or undue embarrassment to the guys who think a female can't count to 21?
I hope this doesn't sound condescending or embarrassing, but why are you asking advice from the same demographic genre that's giving you problems? ;)
 

Friendo

Well-Known Member
#3
Double Standards

That doesn't sound like fun. Last weekend the dealer was preaching to a young woman as to when to double - not entirely correctly - and I couldn't stand to listen to it.

There is such a variety of boors at the blackjack table that I doubt you'll find a general, one-size-fits-all solution to this problem. :confused:

I think that pretending you didn't hear him is better than a snappy comeback.

If you speak to him in the same way, you're automatically a bitch, while he's just a concerned gentleman.

But every double standard presents an opportunity. I'd look for a way to use stereotypes to be seen as the stupid woman the boor thinks you are. When the "concerned gentleman" gives bad advice, you can disobey it and pretend that you're not smart enough to understand what he means. Use the distraction of the sexist boor to make really aggressive bets in high counts, and then drop back to table minimum in neutral counts, because if you seem confused about how to play your hands, nobody will wonder why you're betting inconsistently.

Men get this too - just a lot less of it. I try to come off as confused and uncertain at the tables. It works okay sometimes. A woman was condescendingly trying to prevent me from surrendering the other day. I acted like I was too afraid to play my 14 against the dealer's 10, which I actually was, but for reasons having to do with the count.
 

HockeXpert

Well-Known Member
#4
mica said:
greetings!

what is the best way to stop mature male BJ players from acting condescending towards me without bringing unwanted attention to myself or undue embarrassment to the guys who think a female can't count to 21?
Greetings, Mica.

Well first of all, I never noticed there were other people at the table or even inside the casino for that much. But seriously, there is nothing you can say to a moron who doesn't know his a$$ from his elbow and set them straight. Usually anything you do say isn't received too well and can draw attention.

Bat your eyelashes, act like a dumb blonde and use it as cover is my suggestion.
 
#6
HockeXpert said:
Greetings, Mica.

Well first of all, I never noticed there were other people at the table or even inside the casino for that much. But seriously, there is nothing you can say to a moron who doesn't know his a$$ from his elbow and set them straight. Usually anything you do say isn't received too well and can draw attention.

Bat your eyelashes, act like a dumb blonde and use it as cover is my suggestion.
This.

One of the most important parts of being an AP is NOT drawing attention to yourself or your play. Being able to brush condescending/offensive comments off is an important skill to develop. Play into the casino's stereotype and get your satisfaction knowing that you're better than them.

You already have a distinct advantage over most APs in being female. I think most people here would kill to be female in regards to APing. If you play it right, you could practically get away with murder in a casino.
 
#8
I'm not a man, but

You're going to have to learn to ignore it if you want to continue playing. I know it's tough.

I get complaints from men and women when I do things like hit A, 7 against 9, 10, A, doubling down my A, 8 against 6 in a H17 game (especially that one), or hit and then the dealer ends up drawing to 21.

Usually, I just smile and say that I want to hit it, double, or whatever it is I'm trying to do). I know the other players probably think I'm a fool. I just have to deal with that. I'm no angel, though, so if it goes too far, I will say something back to the person. I've actually had two instances where the person complaining at me actually held up the game because I kept ignoring them and they kept at me, not taking their turn because they were waiting for me to respond. When I'm with SO, I can handle it a lot better because he handles it a lot better. It takes a lot to get to him.

I hope some of this was helpful. This was just some of my experiences in the casino and I'm just a basic strategy player with "wannabe card counter" tattooed on my forehead as I practice KO Rookie :eek:

Best of luck to you.
 

blackchipjim

Well-Known Member
#9
Handle with Care!

Welcome Mica, you are going to have to tough up if you want to play. This is combat and not all the enemies are on the other side of the table. Who cares if you at like a b**** go for it. I've seen some women that are playas and they don't hesitate to tell some ahole to shut the f up. Potty mouth no but assertive yes and a couple are really good. They will play forever and I stay away from the table when they play. They don't need no camo because they are camo! I get a little ticked when they sit down at my table cause they slow the game down with some idiots that try to impress them. Ugh. Anyways get tough and ignore the honey and sweetie crap and play your game. ( my best one is 'darling" by the way)
 

mica

Active Member
#10
Great Members here....thanks!

Wow....I'm impressed and grateful for the speedy replies. You have collectively confirmed my belief that BJ AP's are a group of smart people! I am going to enjoy becoming a member of this group!

It will be much easier to put up with condescending remarks if I keep in mind that looking and acting like a not so smart female novice will put more money in my wallet at the end of the day/week/month!


I knew I shouldn't have come back with a smart A** remark almost as soon as the words left my mouth.....

Btw.....there was a little (tiny) bit more to the story than I previously shared. Early in the session I hit a soft 18 against the dealers 10. Naturally the man tried to stop me (I'm used to that happening....have even had dealers tell me "you've got 18!"). I got a 4, and then a 7 = 19. Dealer had a 20. I lost the hand, but obviously would have lost it no matter what I did.

About 30 minutes later...."the" man gets the soft 18 against a 10. He says...loud enough for everyone to hear...."I've got 18....not going to improve that hand....my mom didn't raise a dummy"! Might just be hormones (LOL)....but I interpreted that to mean he thought that my my mom DID raise a dummy!

good cards to all!

mica
 

mica

Active Member
#11
good question

21gunsalute said:
I hope this doesn't sound condescending or embarrassing, but why are you asking advice from the same demographic genre that's giving you problems? ;)
Not condescending at all!

I have already asked this question to the very few (2) female BJ players and to more than a few of my non playing female friends. The responses I got were not very helpful. I was correct in assuming that AP from this forum would have better advice.

thanks!
 

bjcardcounter

Well-Known Member
#13
mica said:
greetings!

what is the best way to stop mature male BJ players from acting condescending towards me without bringing unwanted attention to myself or undue embarrassment to the guys who think a female can't count to 21?

I am a fairly good (card counting) female. I am getting a little tired of guys constantly saying: "you've got 14, 15, 16...etc ...that's not going to beat 20....you better hit that". Or...you have 18, 19, 20....not going to improve that hand...you should stand". to add insult to
injury...these remarks are often addresses to
"sweetheart"!

recently, I got fed up with a particular gentleman...after he said "you've got 19
sweetie"....I replied: "and you have 17, HONEY". although no one at the table paid any attention to his many comments to me.,,,everyones eyes widened when I spoke up....including the dealer.

any suggestions for handling situations like this without coming across as a b-----?

thanks!
I get to see mostly Asian woman who keep bothering me.
 

mica

Active Member
#14
new part time career

Card counting BJ is the answer to my "empty nest". My 5th child went off to college last fall. I have a day job/profession...but needed something else to do to fill those hours I used to spend fixing meals....going to sporting events...etc.

Heard about card counting from friend that went to Vegas.....rented the movie "21'......ordered and read a couple books "professional blackjack";& "play blackjack like a pro"...I memorized BS and the I-18.... got a couple decks of cards and spent the majority of 3 or 4 weekends practicing.

Then it was time to go to work!

I got lucky on my first day at the tables...(and I do mean lucky....I lost track of the count on several occasions but the cards worked for me anyway)....I turned $50 into $650 in a few hours and I've been addicted ever since! (I've also gotten better at counting...but still only using a simple hi-low system)

There are only a few casinos in my area...I take turns visiting them so I don't wear out my welcome. Can't say that I always win....but overall it's been a fairly profitable enterprise.

One of the casinos I play at hosts weekly BJ tournaments. Again......luck has been a huge factor (I actually don't put much energy into counting during tournaments....focus on betting strategy instead)....anyway...I've played in the tourney 6 times....making it to the final round 3 times and taking home first place twice! I really enjoy the tournaments....fun and so far profitable.

thx for asking! how about you?

mica
 

Thunder

Well-Known Member
#15
Mica, two things. All you have to do is say, "18 isn't a winning hand here. If I'm going to lose, I rather go down swinging." Secondly you need to learn more about betting ramps and risk of ruin as you going into a casino with $50 and playing BJ is virtually guaranteed to have you leave a loser.
 
#16
Mica

Yes, from my experiences at the Several BJ BASHES there is no doubt that the intelligence level of AP's is far above the norm, and humbling to me in so many instances.

At the last BASH we had our first female AP attend with her S.O. and she was very attractive, a real looker, and an excellent AP with alot of class. Maybe she will read and chime in on this thread.:)

CP
 

Gamblor

Well-Known Member
#17
I get stupid remarks from others, so its no big deal. I usually just ignore them. As I mentioned before, a big growing stack of chips in front of you shuts everyone up.

Also, I don't necessarily agree with everyone that its all that advantageous being a female and CC. I've played with a female who knew BS, and a female who doubles 11 v 10, 10 v 9, A7 v 3, etc. (sombody playing "aggressively"), immediately attracts attention, where even other ploppies notice. You might want to bring a BS card with you and use it as the reason you are doing this.
 

sagefr0g

Well-Known Member
#18
friend CP

creeping panther said:
Yes, from my experiences at the Several BJ BASHES there is no doubt that the intelligence level of AP's is far above the norm, and humbling to me in so many instances.

At the last BASH we had our first female AP attend with her S.O. and she was very attractive, a real looker, and an excellent AP with alot of class. Maybe she will read and chime in on this thread.:)

CP
C & Y were the first female AP's to attend the Bash.:eek::p
errhhh Y doesn't yet fully know basic strategy nor does she count cards, but she is light years ahead of moi when it comes to AP. for real Y's consistently bringing in the dough and exercising excellent AP judgment imho.
but probably you meant first female card counting AP.:rolleyes:
edit: MEN!!! I SWEAR!!!:grin::joker::):laugh::whip::cat:
 
#19
mica said:
greetings!

what is the best way to stop mature male BJ players from acting condescending towards me without bringing unwanted attention to myself or undue embarrassment to the guys who think a female can't count to 21?

I am a fairly good (card counting) female. I am getting a little tired of guys constantly saying: "you've got 14, 15, 16...etc ...that's not going to beat 20....you better hit that". Or...you have 18, 19, 20....not going to improve that hand...you should stand". to add insult to
injury...these remarks are often addresses to
"sweetheart"!

recently, I got fed up with a particular gentleman...after he said "you've got 19
sweetie"....I replied: "and you have 17, HONEY". although no one at the table paid any attention to his many comments to me.,,,everyones eyes widened when I spoke up....including the dealer.

any suggestions for handling situations like this without coming across as a b-----?

thanks!
Condescending, nothing! I get called every filthy name in the book, threats, challenged to fight, etc. I've even been cursed! Not just cursed at, but cursed, by Haitian voodoo people.

You have to never forget you are miles above everyone in that casino. That is a place of vice and stupidity. Those are the rules that apply there, you can't change it, all you can do is inure yourself to it. Just consider yourself an actress in a really bad movie.

One exception for you though, that you really can't ignore is any kind of threatening language, rape talk, sexual insults etc., that kind of stuff you don't have to put up with and if you ever get that, call the pit boss over and tell him what he said, and they'll chuck him right out of there. In any casino there are mentally disturbed individuals who are self-medicating with gambling and alcohol, and you can't be too careful if you think you are dealing with one of them.
 
#20
Wise won

sagefr0g said:
C & Y were the first female AP's to attend the Bash.:eek::p
errhhh Y doesn't yet fully know basic strategy nor does she count cards, but she is light years ahead of moi when it comes to AP. for real Y's consistently bringing in the dough and exercising excellent AP judgment imho.
but probably you meant first female card counting AP.:rolleyes:
edit: MEN!!! I SWEAR!!!:grin:
Whoops!:eek:

Yes, I do stand corrected! Very sorry for that mistake, I have been taken to the woodshed:eek:

Yes, first female card counting AP is what I meant as Y has attended every event and C all but one and both apply AP in their respective arenas, for sure and for certain:) Y, even a member of the MMOA,, with the COLORS to prove it!!:cool:

Friend,
CP
 
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