Significant other communication Part II

#1
I had previously stated that some caution with family and close friends is in order for being open about blackjack playing. And I still believe this is true.

The reason I'm following up with a separate thread here is to draw attention to a BETTER way of dealing with this discussion. That and avoid responding to the typical trollish prix who flame garbage just for the sake of getting noticed.

I recently started dating this really great woman. A Buddist/former Jewish sweet sensitive easy going loving person. Damn good looking I might add. We are near inseparable these days.

Well just this evening she brought the subject of card playing/casino gambling. Unprovoked on my part! I mean like two hours ago! I thought about what the woman in the other topic had said. This is when i mentioned blackjack to my new girlfriend. I even got to the point of discussing basic strategy adjustments when the deck was loaded with higher value cards. that and the disadvantages the dealer has in those situations. After a bit I stopped and purposefully changed the subject to something totally different. She actually wanted me to keep on talking about 21.

But here's the significance: She approached me with her own self started element of interest. Huge difference than the one where the woman was wondering how to get her man on board with card playing. If you have to drag your S/O kicking and screaming to the tables the game is already lost!

And I will continue down this avenue with my new babe: Only mentioning casino games when she brings up the subject.

One of the most successful salesmen I ever met was also a very crafty panhandler. These two careers being nearly the same. He told me that the secret to his success (outside of being very outgoing and entertaining) was to get his clients to inquire as to his own personal life situation. Sure he might start a conversation with a stranger in order to make an introduction but...

But he never immediately tried to sell or con the stranger out of money. He let his client (or "mark") do that!

How so?

Well by engaging in conversation the stranger grew more comfortable with him. Later my friend would allow his new found acquaintance to ask a key question like "What are you doing when you get back to Santa Rosa"?

At which point my friend would say something like: "Oh well i don't know how I'm going to explain to my wife that I lost my billfold and the tickets to the Theater".

This was the key. The mark now felt great sadness that his new "friend" was suffering from the loss of the billfold. Actually in fact my friend hadn't lost anything at all. It was just an elaborate story designed to get strangers to part with their money.

And he turned these tricks out to the tune of maybe five hundred dollars a day! In 1978 dollars too!!!

Now compare that to the poor dumb hopeless panhandler bumming "spare change": The typical panhandler negotiates from weakness. A stranger may feel a tad bit of pity but probably the guy will get ignored. Or at best get a few nickels here and there. Most of the general public has a poor impression of him.

Not so my old friend: He negotiated from a strong position. Wore nice clothes and a friendly smile. Completely trustworthy in appearance. Seemingly more interested in his mark's welfare than his own.

OK he was kind of a sneaky guy and his technique not so appealing to most of us honest folk. But we can learn a valuable lesson from this guy: LISTEN to our friends. Allow them the chance to get to know us. Then stage and present ourselves in such a way so that they do not think we are compulsive gamblers or con men.

In business and life we meet and make friends much better when we make them feel more comfortable.

So: Don't wrestle with a live tiger. Just put some food out and let him walk into your home. Or your snare.

I suppose we could use my friend's technique with pit critters and dealers somewhat. It becomes more difficult to boot a player who has a personal connection with the pit crew. I used to send the pit crew up at (casino name deleted) Christmas cards and a few chocolates. At least giving candies to the female dealers anyway. Low cost treats or maybe just holiday goodies someone else sent me that i didn't care for. Christmas cards are cheap but the thought counts. I've raked that freaking casino pretty darn good over the past three years. They let me get away with a HUGE spread and to the best of my knowledge never analyzed my skills check upstairs.

. . .

At the end of our evening my new girlfriend mentioned "how neat it would be if we could take a trip up to Wine Country, and maybe get a chance to watch me play the tables"

She said that, not me!
 
Last edited:

Machinist

Well-Known Member
#2
Lucky man

You are a very lucky man,
I have a wife of 31 years that totally , completely lets me do what i want when it comes to my work. 2 months ago i said its time baby, for me to hit the road. I have taken the last 7 years off to work on our farms and have some fun. Things are heating up again in the casino world, competition is around the corner with this down turn in the economy. These boys running these casino's are going to be stepping on their d**ks trying to get people in the door. New machines are happening as we speak.
She was packing things faster than i was.
I remember when i got involved in AP stuff. She gave me that blank look like what?? the hell are you talking about. I had to show her exactly how machine AP works. I took her on a few trips to AC to work a few of the simpler machines , back in 97 or so. I had her sit on video BJ for about a week solid with a sweet 1 percent card, so she could get a feel for the mundane crap i go through playing this stuff. And also to have her feel the fluxuations of a bank roll. Then send her home with the money she made. She caught on real quick and no questions since.
I will tell you, we did decide to get a divorce to keep my business and hers seperate. She is in one of the miltary services, 2 years till retirement, can't wait. She has clearances that can't be jeopardized by my gray world.
I believe it is really a situation by situation call when it comes to this subject. No clear answers for sure.
Thanks for bringing this subject up. I thought i was the only lucky one out there.!

Take care all

Machinist
 

Koseao

Well-Known Member
#3
AnIrishmannot2brite said:
I had previously stated that some caution with family and close friends is in order for being open about blackjack playing. And I still believe this is true.

The reason I'm following up with a separate thread here is to draw attention to a BETTER way of dealing with this discussion. That and avoid responding to the typical trollish prix who flame garbage just for the sake of getting noticed.

I recently started dating this really great woman. A Buddist/former Jewish sweet sensitive easy going loving person. Damn good looking I might add. We are near inseparable these days.

Well just this evening she brought the subject of card playing/casino gambling. Unprovoked on my part! I mean like two hours ago! I thought about what the woman in the other topic had said. This is when i mentioned blackjack to my new girlfriend. I even got to the point of discussing basic strategy adjustments when the deck was loaded with higher value cards. that and the disadvantages the dealer has in those situations. After a bit I stopped and purposefully changed the subject to something totally different. She actually wanted me to keep on talking about 21.

But here's the significance: She approached me with her own self started element of interest. Huge difference than the one where the woman was wondering how to get her man on board with card playing. If you have to drag your S/O kicking and screaming to the tables the game is already lost!

And I will continue down this avenue with my new babe: Only mentioning casino games when she brings up the subject.

One of the most successful salesmen I ever met was also a very crafty panhandler. These two careers being nearly the same. He told me that the secret to his success (outside of being very outgoing and entertaining) was to get his clients to inquire as to his own personal life situation. Sure he might start a conversation with a stranger in order to make an introduction but...

But he never immediately tried to sell or con the stranger out of money. He let his client (or "mark") do that!

How so?

Well by engaging in conversation the stranger grew more comfortable with him. Later my friend would allow his new found acquaintance to ask a key question like "What are you doing when you get back to Santa Rosa"?

At which point my friend would say something like: "Oh well i don't know how I'm going to explain to my wife that I lost my billfold and the tickets to the Theater".

This was the key. The mark now felt great sadness that his new "friend" was suffering from the loss of the billfold. Actually in fact my friend hadn't lost anything at all. It was just an elaborate story designed to get strangers to part with their money.

And he turned these tricks out to the tune of maybe five hundred dollars a day! In 1978 dollars too!!!

Now compare that to the poor dumb hopeless panhandler bumming "spare change": The typical panhandler negotiates from weakness. A stranger may feel a tad bit of pity but probably the guy will get ignored. Or at best get a few nickels here and there. Most of the general public has a poor impression of him.

Not so my old friend: He negotiated from a strong position. Wore nice clothes and a friendly smile. Completely trustworthy in appearance. Seemingly more interested in his mark's welfare than his own.

OK he was kind of a sneaky guy and his technique not so appealing to most of us honest folk. But we can learn a valuable lesson from this guy: LISTEN to our friends. Allow them the chance to get to know us. Then stage and present ourselves in such a way so that they do not think we are compulsive gamblers or con men.

In business and life we meet and make friends much better when we make them feel more comfortable.

So: Don't wrestle with a live tiger. Just put some food out and let him walk into your home. Or your snare.

I suppose we could use my friend's technique with pit critters and dealers somewhat. It becomes more difficult to boot a player who has a personal connection with the pit crew. I used to send the pit crew up at (casino name deleted) Christmas cards and a few chocolates. At least giving candies to the female dealers anyway. Low cost treats or maybe just holiday goodies someone else sent me that i didn't care for. Christmas cards are cheap but the thought counts. I've raked that freaking casino pretty darn good over the past three years. They let me get away with a HUGE spread and to the best of my knowledge never analyzed my skills check upstairs.

. . .

At the end of our evening my new girlfriend mentioned "how neat it would be if we could take a trip up to Wine Country, and maybe get a chance to watch me play the tables"

She said that, not me!
Well I think you hit it right on the nose, if I have to drag him kicking and screaming then I have already lost on him. However, it is not quite like that. He goes. But for all the wrong reasons. He believes the casinos are all full of drunk guys and old men and that I would be out partying around, therefore, he feels he has to go. I want him to come for the right reasons, to be a part of my life and be there to be with me for support- even interest! So he will always go, I just can't get him to see that it is not that I am losing.. bad shoes happen, sometimes counts high and you still get the 5's and 6's and just horrible cards. It happens. So the entire time he bitches about how horrible it is. It isnt like he has anything to worry about, I don't even give guys a second look, not interested. I like to win. Hearing your guys' stories makes me feel I am getting screwed on having a supportive partner! I talked to him last night, showing him my charts, showing him my books, really trying to show him the benefits of it! He just glazes over and seems oblivious. It might be a dead end but even my Ma won't listen. Perhaps it is an en devour I shall have to do alone. :(
 

JulieCA

Well-Known Member
#4
When I tell my husband I'm going to spend a few days playing blackjack, he says "have fun." I've given up getting him to play, even in tournaments. We got stuck in Primm one time because they closed southbound I-5 for 3 hours. I played blackjack and he took a walk. The closest I've seen him get to a blackjack table was when he came to find me and tell me the freeway was open again. :laugh:

We just don't have the kind of marriage where one of us nags the other to do anything. Just as a matter of form, I ask him if he wants to go with me when I go somewhere (like, family reunions) and he just laughs because he knows I already know the answer. (NO) He always asks me if I want to go with him even though he knows the answer. (YES) I was at a meeting in Denver once and he called me at the meeting (he rarely calls me when I'm out of town) to ask if I wanted to go to a meeting with him because it was at the Hotel Del Coronado, in San Diego, and he knew I'd been hankering to stay there. He was just checking in with me because the tight scheduling.

He's a homebody. He only leaves town if his job requires him to go to meetings. If he was at all negative about my gallivanting, we'd have a problem. If I was losing a lot of money playing blackjack, then he'd say something. As long as I'm breaking even or winning, he's okay with it. My last trip, I told him I made my expenses as long as I didn't count dropping my iPhone and breaking the #### out of it, which he thought was funny. (My blackjack fund owes me $200!)

My kids know I love to play but I don't tell the rest of my family. They don't believe in gambling or casinos.
 

bj21abc

Well-Known Member
#5
I think the problem lies in that most people who have been brought up right have an ingrained belief that 1) Gambling is evil and only bums do it 2) Gambling is a sucker's game - you can't beat the casinos. These beliefs have normally been hammered in very deep.

I have to travel to play - at the moment am traveling a week every month. Long ago I had to explain AP to my wife and to my wife's family, who had never even been inside a casino. Perhaps because of their regard for me as a math/tech guy, who would never take anything on without having checked it out 101%, they accepted my explanations and my AP.

Without their acceptance and support- no way I could be traveling.
 

Machinist

Well-Known Member
#6
Another part of the puzzle

I grew up a catholic every damn sunday was church.!!! Very strict family, dad was king.
Anyways the other problem is that i have a large relative base. They all know what i do, and want in on the stuff. Problem is they don't take is seriously and blow all their money that i did let them make, FRiGGiN putting it all back into stone cold gambling.!!!!!!!!
I tried getting them involved many times of the years past, but have given up. I won't even discuss it with them anymore.
What really pissed me off once was the comment that hey it's free money so why not blow it and have some fun. FREE!!!!!!!!! are you FFFFNNNN nuts. That was it.
They can keep their mundane jobs working for the man.!!! I have one nephew that is seeing the light and he is finshing up college at 50G a year. He got a free scholarship.
But he doesn't want to do the cubicle thing. Wants to work for himself. So we will see.

TAke care
Machinist
 

daddybo

Well-Known Member
#7
AnIrishmannot2brite said:
.

I recently started dating this really great woman. A Buddist/former Jewish sweet sensitive easy going loving person. Damn good looking I might add. We are near inseparable these days.
Let me guess... her name is Deborah? :eek:
 

FLASH1296

Well-Known Member
#8
L.O.L. :laugh:

I posted about a woman that I cohabitated with who freaked out at the Borgata.

She was a Jewess and a Deborah.

C.O.L. :cry:
 

daddybo

Well-Known Member
#9
FLASH1296 said:
L.O.L. :laugh:

I posted about a woman that I cohabitated with who freaked out at the Borgata.

She was a Jewess and a Deborah.

C.O.L. :cry:
Y'all got to stay away from my cousin. :laugh: :laugh::whip:
 
Top