One for the good guys!

#1
A while back I was playing at one of my favorite games at one of my favorite stores, sitting at third base with a pretty crowded table, a group of 4 people who were there together were playing, a couple and two single women.

The abuse started nearly as soon as I sat down. "You're an asshole." "Are you retarded? Why did you hit that?" "What a moron." Losing just a little bit (which of course bothers me more than the verbal abuse) but the one woman with the guy was really drunk and really vile. These people actually played like fools of the worst order, as you might expect.

Eventually I thought it would be best to shut that noise down, so I answered back: "Your gambling problem is my fault. So is your drinking problem."

Then a dramatic pause, and ... "Do you masturbate, too?"

(Kids, don't try this last one at home! If that question is taken literally you could end up getting arrested and having to register as a pervert for the rest of your life. Leave that language to the experts. :rolleyes:)

Dead silence. I could almost hear her thinking- "How does he know I gamble, drink, and ...?" But even better, I started getting my cards, built up my stack then some stunning wins with splits and doubles on max bets. Then on one hand, the quiet, somewhat attractive girl with them sitting next to me asked me "What should I do?"

And I recognized that look in her eyes, that "You're my boyfriend, just nobody knows it yet" look. Little did I know, back when I was the retarded moron who kept taking the dealer's bust card, that I was only $2K away from being engaged. We shared smiles and pleasant conversation, drink recommendations, and most importantly, I got a nice scavenger bet off of her.

I got up with a hand full of purple, and took a bow to my hecklers, as if to say: "Your money went from you to the table, and is going home with me, and the same would have happened to your little friend if that was what I was here for." It was very satisfying, one of those nights that makes this job enjoyable.
 

aslan

Well-Known Member
#4
Automatic Monkey said:
A while back I was playing at one of my favorite games at one of my favorite stores, sitting at third base with a pretty crowded table, a group of 4 people who were there together were playing, a couple and two single women.

The abuse started nearly as soon as I sat down. "You're an asshole." "Are you retarded? Why did you hit that?" "What a moron." Losing just a little bit (which of course bothers me more than the verbal abuse) but the one woman with the guy was really drunk and really vile. These people actually played like fools of the worst order, as you might expect.

Eventually I thought it would be best to shut that noise down, so I answered back: "Your gambling problem is my fault. So is your drinking problem."

Then a dramatic pause, and ... "Do you masturbate, too?"

(Kids, don't try this last one at home! If that question is taken literally you could end up getting arrested and having to register as a pervert for the rest of your life. Leave that language to the experts. :rolleyes:)

Dead silence. I could almost hear her thinking- "How does he know I gamble, drink, and ...?" But even better, I started getting my cards, built up my stack then some stunning wins with splits and doubles on max bets. Then on one hand, the quiet, somewhat attractive girl with them sitting next to me asked me "What should I do?"

And I recognized that look in her eyes, that "You're my boyfriend, just nobody knows it yet" look. Little did I know, back when I was the retarded moron who kept taking the dealer's bust card, that I was only $2K away from being engaged. We shared smiles and pleasant conversation, drink recommendations, and most importantly, I got a nice scavenger bet off of her.

I got up with a hand full of purple, and took a bow to my hecklers, as if to say: "Your money went from you to the table, and is going home with me, and the same would have happened to your little friend if that was what I was here for." It was very satisfying, one of those nights that makes this job enjoyable.
I don't think I could pull that one off. :eek: I'd probably leave that table to look for a more pleasant one. :laugh: They'd still lose their money, and I'd still win mine, which would still be formerly theirs--only a bit more indirectly. :rolleyes:
 
#8
Am

That is great writting, and if that is actually how it went down you will for sure be asked to be the, Guest Of Honor, at the next Bash:laugh:

As for the girl wanting, you too make her a "Women", I can understand that desire on her part, as I have been told you resemble a young George Peppard.:cool:;)

CP
 
#9
creeping panther said:
That is great writting, and if that is actually how it went down you will for sure be asked to be the, Guest Of Honor, at the next Bash:laugh:

As for the girl wanting, you too make her a "Women", I can understand that desire on her part, as I have been told you resemble a young George Peppard.:cool:;)

CP
I get that somewhat frequently, always seems to happen when I have a pile of black and purple in front of me.

There's a word for that kind of girl, and it is not spelled phonetically.
 

shadroch

Well-Known Member
#12
And I recognized that look in her eyes, that "You're my boyfriend, just nobody knows it yet" look.



Thats about as creepy a statement as I've ever read here.
 
#13
Shad

shadroch said:
And I recognized that look in her eyes, that "You're my boyfriend, just nobody knows it yet" look.



Thats about as creepy a statement as I've ever read here.
Hey Shad, If you looked LIke a young George Peppard you would understand what he meant!

You should really try to stop being so judge mental and join in the spirit of the Christmas Season.:rolleyes:

CP
 
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