Blackjack and Card Counting Forums - BlackjackInfo.com

  #1  
Old November 13th, 2011, 12:26 AM
Tarzan's Avatar
Tarzan Tarzan is offline
Executive Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Atlantic City
Posts: 576
Default The sordid adventures of Johnny Nutsack

I was hanging out in Atlantic City, playing some blackjack and hanging out. It was not going well, so I pulled back from the blackjack tables and meandered over to the slot machine area to sit and relax and order a drink from the waitress. I am not much for actually PLAYING the slot machines (knowing the insurrmountable house advantage of these things) but they do provide a nice place to sit back and sip on a soda! Anyway, there were "all the usual suspects" lurking about, the odd array of humanity composing quite a broad cross-section of society dispersed about the casino.

It can be interesting to observe them all, plunking away at the machines... the crys of joy at hitting a jackpot, the bells, clanging and noises of the machines, the looks on some faces that indicate a sense of gloomy despair at their lack of luck. The vast majority of these people are totally transfixed to the machine in front of them, as if for the time being at least, they and the machine are one. There's a few that are like me though, taking in the surroundings and not mesmerized by the electronic apparatus in front of them... these are the people that you might even share a conversation with along the way.

An elderly woman sitting at the same bank of slot machines that I was at said to me, "You look quite familiar to me somehow... do I know you from somewhere?" It is in my nature to joke around with people at times, promote a laugh or even say things that would likely freak some people right out. I was having an otherwise uninteresting day, did not recognize her from anywhere at all and came up with the snap-judgement call to say, "You might have seen me in the movies, Maam."

The rest of the conversation went something like this and I attempt to recall it word per word as follows:
"Oh my gosh, what is your name?"
"Well, I don't use my actual name, since I star in erotic films... but my screen name is Johnny Nutsack!"
"Oh my, I am SURE I have seen you before then! Did you star in... (she rattled off a few titles that I can't recall exactly but were things like "Bubble Butt Fiesta 3", "Revenge of the Valley Whores", etc., etc.).

I tried not to show that I was in any way freaked out that this woman that appears to be right off the nursing home bus and around 75 years old has watched and was into more porn than I ever even knew existed and maintaining my composure calmly said, "Well Maam, I have been in so many that I can't even begin to recall all the titles....".

I eventually went back over by the blackjack tables, played a few hands and was wandering about some more... I was coming out of the bathroom and the same lady was with another couple of friends of hers off in the distance hovering around a slot machine and waves hello at me as she is talking to her cohorts, who are all staring directly at me as if they have all heard about "Johnny Nutsack".

It's a rather small casino compared to most and two or so hours later I was back over by the blackjack tables and overheard some people at another table across from me talking along the lines of "Some famous porn star was here in the casino today". I fought the urge to say, "Yes, as a matter fact it was Johnny Nutsack who starred in 'Explorations of your Anus 5' and he even autographed my girlfriend's left breast!", instead saying nothing and slipping quietly out of the casino to get on the road home.
  #2  
Old November 13th, 2011, 01:03 AM
AussiePlayer AussiePlayer is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 295
Default

Pure Gold. Could only happen in a casino.

Now all you need to do is get a players card in the name of Nutsack.
  #3  
Old November 13th, 2011, 11:44 AM
jaygruden's Avatar
jaygruden jaygruden is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Anytown, USA on the East Coast
Posts: 279
Default

Great work Tarzan....this sounds like the prelude to the story that will soon appear in Penthouse Letters. Was the old ladies name "Jane"?
  #4  
Old November 13th, 2011, 05:49 PM
creeping panther's Avatar
creeping panther creeping panther is offline
Executive Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,815
Default Tarzan

You are a skilled, gifted writer, props to you!

CP
  #5  
Old November 13th, 2011, 08:51 PM
Tarzan's Avatar
Tarzan Tarzan is offline
Executive Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Atlantic City
Posts: 576
Default Golden nuggets of literary accomplishment

Quote:
Originally Posted by creeping panther View Post
You are a skilled, gifted writer, props to you!

CP
That's all well and good, CP... Now if I could just manage to win a few hands of blackjack!
  #6  
Old November 14th, 2011, 03:27 AM
zengrifter's Avatar
zengrifter zengrifter is offline
Executive Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: SoCal
Posts: 10,532
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tarzan View Post
The sordid adventures of Johnny Nutsack
Song to the tune of Johnny Angel. zg
  #7  
Old November 14th, 2011, 08:41 AM
Machinist Machinist is offline
Executive Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Here n there......midwest
Posts: 985
Default

Tarzan, normally I don't read much off this site to my best half,but I read your story to her. She got a good chuckle out of it as did I. You sir have a vivid imagination to say the least.
Thanks for the story.

Machinist
  #8  
Old November 14th, 2011, 11:15 AM
blackjackomaha blackjackomaha is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 197
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by aussieplayer View Post
pure gold. Could only happen in a casino.

Now all you need to do is get a players card in the name of nutsack.
+1
  #9  
Old November 14th, 2011, 12:18 PM
sagefr0g's Avatar
sagefr0g sagefr0g is offline
Executive Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,141
Question

errrhh i take it this wasn't pulled off in drag?
http://www.blackjackinfo.com/bb/show...72&postcount=2
............... some things are really hard to believe, lol , but what a story.
  #10  
Old November 14th, 2011, 01:01 PM
Dyepaintball12's Avatar
Dyepaintball12 Dyepaintball12 is offline
Executive Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Mid-Michigan
Posts: 1,547
Default

I think the next ID I am going to get will say Johnny Nutsack.
 

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:14 PM.


Forum Software vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2005-2011 Bayview Strategies LLC