Need a witty comeback

[mrbill]

Saturday night I was at a local casino. There were 5 of us at a $5 table.

On one hand I was dealt a pair of 2s as was someone else at the table. I was 3rd base, he was to my right. Dealer had a 5. The guy to my right refused to hit his 4. Everyone else went nuts trying to explain to him what was wrong with his thinking. He asked me and I said, "It's your money, do what you want. I'm splitting mine.". It caused enough commotion that the pit critter came over and asked him "Are you sure you don't want to hit your 4?", He said, "Yes, I don't want to take the dealers bust card".

So, then the dealer turned to me and asked me what I wanted to do. I of course, split my 2s. Got a 9 on the first 2 so I doubled and got a 10. Got an 8 on the second 2 so I doubled and got an A. All this time the guy to my right was going spastic, thought he was going to have a heart attack. I finally told him, "It's my money!". Of course the dealer had a 10 down and drew a 4 for 19. So even if he would've hit, He would've gotten the 9 and stayed on 13. I would've still split and got the 10 on the first 2, but the same on the second 2. Dealer would've still had the 4, so I'd have won the double but lost the first hand. Don't know what I would've ended up with if he would've done what I did.

Can anyone suggest something better to say than what I did say?

[I just like semi-circles]

Originally Posted by mrbill

Saturday night I was at a local casino. There were 5 of us at a $5 table.

On one hand I was dealt a pair of 2s as was someone else at the table. I was 3rd base, he was to my right. Dealer had a 5. The guy to my right refused to hit his 4. Everyone else went nuts trying to explain to him what was wrong with his thinking. He asked me and I said, "It's your money, do what you want. I'm splitting mine.". It caused enough commotion that the pit critter came over and asked him "Are you sure you don't want to hit your 4?", He said, "Yes, I don't want to take the dealers bust card".

So, then the dealer turned to me and asked me what I wanted to do. I of course, split my 2s. Got a 9 on the first 2 so I doubled and got a 10. Got an 8 on the second 2 so I doubled and got an A. All this time the guy to my right was going spastic, thought he was going to have a heart attack. I finally told him, "It's my money!". Of course the dealer had a 10 down and drew a 4 for 19. So even if he would've hit, He would've gotten the 9 and stayed on 13. I would've still split and got the 10 on the first 2, but the same on the second 2. Dealer would've still had the 4, so I'd have won the double but lost the first hand. Don't know what I would've ended up with if he would've done what I did.

Can anyone suggest something better to say than what I did say?

Slide one of your $1 chips over to him, and tell him it's so he can buy a BS card in the gift shop. (It's worth the buck just to see the look on their face).

[Canceler]

Here's what I'd like to say:

"To play the way you want to play you need to know what the next card is AND what the dealer's hole card is. I don't. If you do, then why aren't you up in High Stakes winning a ton of money, instead of down here whining about how other people play?"

Unfortunately, it's much too long.

[Jeff Dubya]

I would look at the chips on the table, sarcastically, real close up. Then I would look at him kinda stupid and say "Are these your chips?"

When he says "no," tell him that he's correct, and then just ask him (with or without expletives) to just play his own chips

I believe I have read this response somewhere else on this site.

I like the $1 with suggestion. That's good also.

[Jeff Dubya]

One thing that a colleague of mine who is a professional gambler brought up with me last week is to be careful how forceful you are when talking to a jackass like this guy.

After all, the casino like to keep their edge. If he's betting like an idiot, and you are hammering away at the BS and at least breaking even... who do you think will be thrown out if you "verbally attack" another player?

I thought it was an interesting point, and thought this was the perfect opportunity to bring it up.

[Mikeaber]

Sorry folks, but Blackjack is NOT a team sport!

[Jeff Dubya]

Originally Posted by Mikeaber

Sorry folks, but Blackjack is NOT a team sport!

I knew Mike would have a good one. Sweet! :D

[Mikeaber]

Originally Posted by I just like semi-circles

Slide one of your $1 chips over to him, and tell him it's so he can buy a BS card in the gift shop. (It's worth the buck just to see the look on their face).

Ironically, I did something similar to this ou at the Plaza. Only, I went up to my room and grabbed a complete set of BS cards I'd printed off. Gave the set to a guy who was telling me that no BS card ever printed told you to hit a soft 18 against a face! He left the table shortly after that, very subdued and said as he left that he was going to his room and study the cards.

Thing is, there are a lot of people who have been playin the game longer than some of us have been alive....and playing it wrong all this time! Just because some old fart (like me) tells you something, don't assume that he lnows what he's talking about. Confirm it before you use it unless you trust the source!

[tedloc]

Originally Posted by Canceler

Here's what I'd like to say:

"To play the way you want to play you need to know what the next card is AND what the dealer's hole card is. I don't. If you do, then why aren't you up in High Stakes winning a ton of money, instead of down here whining about how other people play?"

Unfortunately, it's much too long.

It might be a little too long but I think I will use it next time someone gets excited on the table. Stay calm...lower my voice.

[tedloc]

I carry a BS card in my pocket all the time. Whenever someone challanges my play, I flip the card to them and say "When you learn this card, you'll be ready to play all your hands correctly"