The sordid adventures of Johnny Nutsack

  • Tarzan

    The sordid adventures of Johnny Nutsack

    I was hanging out in Atlantic City, playing some blackjack and hanging out. It was not going well, so I pulled back from the blackjack tables and meandered over to the slot machine area to sit and relax and order a drink from the waitress. I am not much for actually PLAYING the slot machines (knowing the insurrmountable house advantage of these things) but they do provide a nice place to sit back and sip on a soda! Anyway, there were “all the usual suspects” lurking about, the odd array of humanity composing quite a broad cross-section of society dispersed about the casino.

    It can be interesting to observe them all, plunking away at the machines… the crys of joy at hitting a jackpot, the bells, clanging and noises of the machines, the looks on some faces that indicate a sense of gloomy despair at their lack of luck. The vast majority of these people are totally transfixed to the machine in front of them, as if for the time being at least, they and the machine are one. There’s a few that are like me though, taking in the surroundings and not mesmerized by the electronic apparatus in front of them… these are the people that you might even share a conversation with along the way.

    An elderly woman sitting at the same bank of slot machines that I was at said to me, “You look quite familiar to me somehow… do I know you from somewhere?” It is in my nature to joke around with people at times, promote a laugh or even say things that would likely freak some people right out. I was having an otherwise uninteresting day, did not recognize her from anywhere at all and came up with the snap-judgement call to say, “You might have seen me in the movies, Maam.”

    The rest of the conversation went something like this and I attempt to recall it word per word as follows:
    “Oh my gosh, what is your name?”
    “Well, I don’t use my actual name, since I star in erotic films… but my screen name is Johnny Nutsack!”
    “Oh my, I am SURE I have seen you before then! Did you star in… (she rattled off a few titles that I can’t recall exactly but were things like “Bubble Butt Fiesta 3″, “Revenge of the Valley Whores”, etc., etc.).

    I tried not to show that I was in any way freaked out that this woman that appears to be right off the nursing home bus and around 75 years old has watched and was into more porn than I ever even knew existed and maintaining my composure calmly said, “Well Maam, I have been in so many that I can’t even begin to recall all the titles….”.

    I eventually went back over by the blackjack tables, played a few hands and was wandering about some more… I was coming out of the bathroom and the same lady was with another couple of friends of hers off in the distance hovering around a slot machine and waves hello at me as she is talking to her cohorts, who are all staring directly at me as if they have all heard about “Johnny Nutsack”.

    It’s a rather small casino compared to most and two or so hours later I was back over by the blackjack tables and overheard some people at another table across from me talking along the lines of “Some famous porn star was here in the casino today”. I fought the urge to say, “Yes, as a matter fact it was Johnny Nutsack who starred in ‘Explorations of your Anus 5′ and he even autographed my girlfriend’s left breast!”, instead saying nothing and slipping quietly out of the casino to get on the road home.

  • AussiePlayer

     

    Pure Gold. Could only happen in a casino.

    Now all you need to do is get a players card in the name of Nutsack.

  • jaygruden

     

    Great work Tarzan….this sounds like the prelude to the story that will soon appear in Penthouse Letters. Was the old ladies name “Jane”?

  • creeping panther

    Tarzan

    You are a skilled, gifted writer, props to you!

    CP

  • Tarzan

    Golden nuggets of literary accomplishment

    Quote: creeping panther said:
    You are a skilled, gifted writer, props to you!

    CP

    That’s all well and good, CP… Now if I could just manage to win a few hands of blackjack!

  • zengrifter

     

    Quote: Tarzan said:
    The sordid adventures of Johnny Nutsack

    Song to the tune of Johnny Angel. zg

  • Machinist

     

    Tarzan, normally I don’t read much off this site to my best half,but I read your story to her. She got a good chuckle out of it as did I. You sir have a vivid imagination to say the least.
    Thanks for the story.

    Machinist

  • blackjackomaha

     

    Quote: aussieplayer said:
    pure gold. Could only happen in a casino.

    Now all you need to do is get a players card in the name of nutsack.

    +1

  • Dyepaintball12

     

    I think the next ID I am going to get will say Johnny Nutsack.

  • Machinist

    Code Word

    Haven’t i read a few threads on people wanting a code word or a way of indentifing yourself or others that you are familiar with the BJINFO site?
    Some have suggested a secret handshake or a code word……..
    I vote for Johnny Nutsack……..i mean come on..its one in a million…

    Machinist

  • SecurityRisk

     

    That was probably your long lost aunt that you forgot about. There will probably be a family reunion several years from now. Another relative will ask her, “Aunt Sally, do you remember Tarzan?” And she will respond “Oh yeah. The porn star.”

  • Machinist

    Still laughing

    Just cant quit everytime i see this thread…

    Machinist

  • blackjack avenger

    shouldnt have done that

    Used my name without permission

  • metronome

     

    I’m tryin’ to figure out how to get the name on a vanity plate…
    for my VERY BIG F250.

  • Dyepaintball12

     

    Quote: metronome said:
    I’m tryin’ to figure out how to get the name on a vanity plate…
    for my VERY BIG F250.

    jny ntsk

  • jaygruden

     

    Quote: metronome said:
    I’m tryin’ to figure out how to get the name on a vanity plate…
    for my VERY BIG F250.

    JNut-Sack

  • Billy C1

    It’s easy

    Quote: metronome said:
    I’m tryin’ to figure out how to get the name on a vanity plate…
    for my VERY BIG F250.

    Scrotum.

    BillyC1

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