Thanks for all the responses. I hope my posts didn't come off as whining, just wanted to share a story with those who are interested. I am feeling better today. Snapped an eight session losing streak with a small win. Conditions weren't good for my game of choice so I worked on some other advanced strategies as Alsan suggested.
*If this gets too hot for public discussion let me know and I'll delete it.
A dealer was exposing the bottom card as he took the double decks out of the ASM. I have been practicing my cut estimation at home frequently and decided to give it a try. I had the cut card and saw a queen of hearts. I started out trying to cut it to my buddy on the first round but they were sweating my 9 to 12 card cuts and making me cut deeper, so I shot for 17 hoping to catch it my self off the top of the 2nd round (I was 1st base.) My cut was pretty good but I thought I was at 18. The 1st round finished and I was about to be dealt the 17th card. I decided to bet 5 units even though the count was negative and I was thinking 18. Sure enough I caught the babe! I just giggle when stuff like this works, was a good time to be off my one. Next round I spy a Jack of clubs. 3rd base cuts it, I guess it is about 44 cards deep. Several rounds later card #45 busts the dealer and we still haven't seen my Jack. I decided to take a 10 unit poke at it. BOOM! Got it and another jack for 20. It was as happy as I have been playing in awhile. Didn't see any aces but I know what to do in the future. I like this play a lot, but only about a 3rd as much as I like seeing the dark spots on the corner of some cards peeking out in handheld games. I found a dealer I plan to ABUSE next time conditions are right.
As far as bet resizing goes, I have taken a half step down. I am going to try to get some of my higher bets in by going with a friend and sharing trip bankrolls, and finding even higher edge plays. I play between half and full Kelly with cluncky resizing. Mango and Avenger, I appreciate your thoughts. You are correct that it is better to play smaller kelly fractions and resize constantly, I do think that is good advice. For me and my umpteen thousand dollar bankroll, I am going to choose a higher ROR and expected return rather than a more assured long term bankroll preservation. Blackjack/advantage play doesn't support me, my bankroll is renewable (planning to add 10k in November), and I am just not interested in playing much lower. True, it is approaching "gambling," but it is gambling with a nice edge at worst. If and when my bankroll hits 40k, 100k and beyond I will be more and more careful and plan to play strick 1/4 or 1/8 Kelly. Farm, Ferret, and SP thanks for the support.
Hide your weak dealers!
-Apex