Dealer Straight From Hell
Now for something completely different:
Dealer Straight From Hell
To the music of “Hotel California” by The Eagles
On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of a buffet, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw the shimmering lights
My pockets were heavy and my senses keen
It’s time to play for the night
There she stood at the table
Inside the Grand Hotel
And I was thinking to myself,
This could be Heaven or this could be Hell
Then she dealt out the first hand, and we started to play
There were voices that I’d heard before
I thought I heard them say...
Welcome to the dealer straight from Hell
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
You’ll never win with the dealer straight from Hell
Any time of year, you can find her here
You never know when you sit down, ‘bout the cards in the shoe
You get a lot of pretty, pretty hands, but you still get screwed
She just keeps on winning, with whatever she gets
Some hands you remember, some hands you forget
So I called up the pit boss,
Please give me a comp?
He said, "We can't give you anything here.” Then away he did stomp
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...
Welcome to the dealer straight from Hell
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
You’ll never win with the dealer straight from Hell
What a sad surprise, bring your alibis
She kept right on dealing,
Her card up was a six
And she said "Well I see that your luck has changed, I have no more tricks"
Then I took out my last chips,
Doubled down on my bet
I looked into her steely eyes,
Wondering what I would get
Last thing I remember, I thought
I'm gonna stay alive
The dealer had a hard sixteen
And then she turned up a five
"Relax," said the floorman,
“We are programmed to receive.
You can color up any time you like,
but you can never leave"
:flame: