Group thought required about multiple deck games

ihate17

Well-Known Member
#41
What if he misses the wallet

Katweezel said:
IHate17, the baldy-head badass guy with the magic ray gun could be the answer. A gun like that and you point it at your bankroll and pull the trigger... Soon your BR, like Flash, weighs 1000 pounds. You could also secretly point it at nasty pitcritters. :cat:


This is a risky proposition. What if that magic ray gun misses my wallet by a few inches and puts 1000 pounds on my butt?
I am sticking with the exortsism.

ihate17
 

MoneyPlays

Well-Known Member
#42
Dealer Straight From Hell

Now for something completely different:

Dealer Straight From Hell
To the music of “Hotel California” by The Eagles

On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of a buffet, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw the shimmering lights
My pockets were heavy and my senses keen
It’s time to play for the night
There she stood at the table
Inside the Grand Hotel
And I was thinking to myself,
This could be Heaven or this could be Hell
Then she dealt out the first hand, and we started to play
There were voices that I’d heard before
I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to the dealer straight from Hell
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
You’ll never win with the dealer straight from Hell
Any time of year, you can find her here

You never know when you sit down, ‘bout the cards in the shoe
You get a lot of pretty, pretty hands, but you still get screwed
She just keeps on winning, with whatever she gets
Some hands you remember, some hands you forget

So I called up the pit boss,
Please give me a comp?
He said, "We can't give you anything here.” Then away he did stomp
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...

Welcome to the dealer straight from Hell
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
You’ll never win with the dealer straight from Hell
What a sad surprise, bring your alibis

She kept right on dealing,
Her card up was a six
And she said "Well I see that your luck has changed, I have no more tricks"
Then I took out my last chips,
Doubled down on my bet
I looked into her steely eyes,
Wondering what I would get

Last thing I remember, I thought
I'm gonna stay alive
The dealer had a hard sixteen
And then she turned up a five
"Relax," said the floorman,
“We are programmed to receive.
You can color up any time you like,
but you can never leave"

:flame:
 

Katweezel

Well-Known Member
#43
1000 pound bankroll hauler

ihate17 said:
This is a risky proposition. What if that magic ray gun misses my wallet by a few inches and puts 1000 pounds on my butt?
I am sticking with the exortsism.

ihate17
I have no idea how you could haul around your 1000-pound butt, but here is how you could haul around your 1000-pound bankroll. That is real German cash there, btw.
View attachment 2339
 

Attachments

Katweezel

Well-Known Member
#44
Hotel California dealer from hell

MoneyPlays said:
Now for something completely different:

Dealer Straight From Hell
To the music of “Hotel California” by The Eagles

On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of a buffet, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw the shimmering lights
My pockets were heavy and my senses keen
It’s time to play for the night
There she stood at the table
Inside the Grand Hotel
And I was thinking to myself,
This could be Heaven or this could be Hell
Then she dealt out the first hand, and we started to play
There were voices that I’d heard before
I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to the dealer straight from Hell
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
You’ll never win with the dealer straight from Hell
Any time of year, you can find her here

You never know when you sit down, ‘bout the cards in the shoe
You get a lot of pretty, pretty hands, but you still get screwed
She just keeps on winning, with whatever she gets
Some hands you remember, some hands you forget

So I called up the pit boss,
Please give me a comp?
He said, "We can't give you anything here.” Then away he did stomp
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...

Welcome to the dealer straight from Hell
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
You’ll never win with the dealer straight from Hell
What a sad surprise, bring your alibis

She kept right on dealing,
Her card up was a six
And she said "Well I see that your luck has changed, I have no more tricks"
Then I took out my last chips,
Doubled down on my bet
I looked into her steely eyes,
Wondering what I would get

Last thing I remember, I thought
I'm gonna stay alive
The dealer had a hard sixteen
And then she turned up a five
"Relax," said the floorman,
“We are programmed to receive.
You can color up any time you like,
but you can never leave"

:flame:
Nice work, MoneyP. Don Henley and Glen Frey like it and want to talk to you about copyright. Joe Walsh was drunk and Schmidt had a haircut. Don said they may be looking for another songwriter. :cat:
 

sagefr0g

Well-Known Member
#45
down the sigma hole another sad story

sooner or later you know it's gonna happen
could be any time when across the felt those cards come a snappin
doesn't matter that you know how to play
you just as well know, there will come that day
thing you don't know is when it will come
the day you get totally undone
doesn't matter what you do
there just isn't beating any shoe
a ploppy gets up, you take his seat
the guy who could just not be beat
his chip count, as if an enigma
adds up to your weeks play at positive one sigma
he was winning almost every hand
for you it doesn't matter if you double, split, hit or stand
and oh, how high can this true count get
you wonder as you lose another big bet
deeper and deeper down you go
down into a four sigma hole
it now would take one hundred times expectation
playing once again the same number of hands you realize in resignation
just to get back to even
doesn't matter though cause of that empty wallet, your leavin
and of course a drunk ploppy takes your seat
no way is that guy gonna get beat
 
#47
Sage

sagefr0g said:
sooner or later you know it's gonna happen
could be any time when across the felt those cards come a snappin
doesn't matter that you know how to play
you just as well know, there will come that day
thing you don't know is when it will come
the day you get totally undone
doesn't matter what you do
there just isn't beating any shoe
a ploppy gets up, you take his seat
the guy who could just not be beat
his chip count, as if an enigma
adds up to your weeks play at positive one sigma
he was winning almost every hand
for you it doesn't matter if you double, split, hit or stand
and oh, how high can this true count get
you wonder as you lose another big bet
deeper and deeper down you go
down into a four sigma hole
it now would take one hundred times expectation
playing once again the same number of hands you realize in resignation
just to get back to even
doesn't matter though cause of that empty wallet, your leavin
and of course a drunk ploppy takes your seat
no way is that guy gonna get beat
Another RAPPIN masterpiesce by the one and only, Wise Won!:):grin::1st:
 

MoneyPlays

Well-Known Member
#48
Let's talk copyright

Katweezel said:
Nice work, MoneyP. Don Henley and Glen Frey like it and want to talk to you about copyright. Joe Walsh was drunk and Schmidt had a haircut. Don said they may be looking for another songwriter. :cat:
Thanks Kat-man, I've been doing song parodies for years and I've discovered that blackjack makes for a veritable plethora of parody material. The parody is considered "fair use" of the copyrighted material. But if it's something you're trying to profit from it can be a fine line. Because you know the original author is going to want a cut of the action. :laugh:

Didn't know you were in tight with the boys in the band. BTW, Joe Walsh was drunk AND stoned. Yeah, I could do a little work for them if the price was right. Have them give me a call at 1-800-YARIGHT. :grin:
 

MoneyPlays

Well-Known Member
#49
Word Up Froggie!

sagefr0g said:
sooner or later you know it's gonna happen
could be any time when across the felt those cards come a snappin
doesn't matter that you know how to play
you just as well know, there will come that day
thing you don't know is when it will come
the day you get totally undone
doesn't matter what you do
there just isn't beating any shoe
a ploppy gets up, you take his seat
the guy who could just not be beat
his chip count, as if an enigma
adds up to your weeks play at positive one sigma
he was winning almost every hand
for you it doesn't matter if you double, split, hit or stand
and oh, how high can this true count get
you wonder as you lose another big bet
deeper and deeper down you go
down into a four sigma hole
it now would take one hundred times expectation
playing once again the same number of hands you realize in resignation
just to get back to even
doesn't matter though cause of that empty wallet, your leavin
and of course a drunk ploppy takes your seat
no way is that guy gonna get beat
Yo man that is nice! Off the hook, baby! We got to get you a gig, dude. Naw man, naw, we ain't gonna stick ya, it ain't THAT kinda gig, froggie! Sorry bout that. :grin:
 

Katweezel

Well-Known Member
#51
Desperado

MoneyPlays said:
Thanks Kat-man, I've been doing song parodies for years and I've discovered that blackjack makes for a veritable plethora of parody material. The parody is considered "fair use" of the copyrighted material. But if it's something you're trying to profit from it can be a fine line. Because you know the original author is going to want a cut of the action. :laugh:

Didn't know you were in tight with the boys in the band. BTW, Joe Walsh was drunk AND stoned. Yeah, I could do a little work for them if the price was right. Have them give me a call at 1-800-YARIGHT. :grin:
Yeah, I been a E-fan for decades, but the closest I ever got to them was in Melbourne not too long back on their second or third Farewell Tour. With that four plus 8 others, musicians including The Mighty Horns, they are still a class act. Thanks to Don Henley singing along with us here, to my version of Desperado. You don't know what you started with this MP...

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses
You been out riding hunches for so long now
Oh you're a hard one, never soft
You know that you got your reasons
These hands that are pleasin you
Can hurt you somehow

Don't you draw the Queen of Diamonds boy
She'll beat you if she's able
You know the Queen of Hearts is always your best bet
Now it seems to me some fine hands
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you can't get

Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin no younger
Your bankroll and hunger, they're drivin you wild
And bust card, oh sacred flow, well that's just some people talkin
Your bankroll and system is walkin throo, this world all alone

Don't your feet get cold when it's big bet time?
The pit don't care and the dealer won't shine
It's hard to tell the rightime from the wrong
You're losing all your highs and highs
Ain't it funny how the money goes away?

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses
Come down from your hunches open the flow
It may be rainin, but there's a rainbow above you
You better let some dealer love you, before it's too late.

Thanks Don, gettin the hang of this, I think. :cat:
 
#57
I as read this it brought back memories of an article in a local newspaper. It was the gaming take from a local casino a month or two prior. The article had mentioned table games and how revenue was down. The explanation from the casino was that players were unusually lucky. I believe the casino. It can happen where you have a certain advantage (the casino) and still lose. I guess in the long run not likely but in the short run, it can happen.
 

Katweezel

Well-Known Member
#58
Joe Walsh song of Q-faces in Blackjack

Song: Big Tits by Joe Walsh [I post this because I think Joe is singing about the Queens in Blackjack. I could be wrong about this, so I'll ask MoneyPlays his opinion.] Meanwhile, Joe wants to sing it to us here.

Uh Huh
I like big tits
YOU see em on the street
left and right
I like big tits, that's right
I try to look away but I can't resist
every time I try to call it quits
here come some tits that's a big ten
Uh huh
I like big tits uh huh
tits
Well they come in twos
hard to choose
your favorite tit
uh huh
I like tits for dinner a noon time snack
I like tits for lunch a big tit attack
I like tits for breakfast
is what it is
they're where it's at
tits
they give me shivers when they bounce around
buckled up or hangin on the ground
I like big tits
uh huh
tits, save it all for me
tits
 
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