Psychics and blackjack

blackchipjim · Apr 22, 2009

comparisions

I think the issue is once again being muddled by math and God and such. You cannot assign value to your senses that you may or may not have. You can say you have good or poor sense of smell, or sight or hearing or taste or even touch. You can't really assign a value to senses that are not defined but you either have it or don't when it comes to the sixth sense. blackchipjim

Katweezel · Apr 23, 2009

Mister nasty nasty

blackchipjim said:

Once a table I was at had a good friendly vibe going until Mr Complete Arsehole sat down and quickly changed all that with his constant griping, whining and sniping at the young female dealer, inbetween incomprehensible mutterings. Being of the hero sub-type, I sprang to her defence with a dumb: "Relax, mate... look, she is only doing her job and dealing the dam cards so you can play. Its not her fault you lost." Mr CAH rounded on me then, and only swift intervention by baldy and his gang of bikie toughs from security prevented a nastier scene. That was when I learned to mostly keep my mouth shut with these types. Funny how the table vibe can change so quickly. :cat:

Katweezel · Apr 23, 2009

The dread

ihate17 said:

Ihate17, yep, I know exactly what you mean when you said: "I am sunk." (when the dealer turned a 6 in the hole, turning her 5 into an 11.) The human mind just knows the next dealer card is going to be a 10-value, doesn't it... Even tho the same mind also knows the math ratio on it being a ten is close to 4/13, making you the warm favorite for her not to make 21.
For me, I noticed the feeling of dread is intimately connected with the color of the chips in my box or boxes. The blacker the feeling of dread, the blacker the chips pile. The mind is one tricky critter... :cat:

Katweezel · May 4, 2009

Magic stuff collection

I've been building up my collection of magic stuff. I just got off the phone after talking to a famous collector, a guy by the name of Aslan. My collection is now complete. I look forward from this day forth, to happily getting the boot from casino after casino, with regular monotony... What joy in that idea... OK, my recent additions to my now-formidable collection include some pieces from antiquity...

Just look what I carry in my many pockets... A small piece of Moses' stone tablets, a chunk of the Berlin Wall, one of Joseph Smith's magic stones, a small piece of wood from Jesus' original cross, a fang from a fire-breathing dragon, a shiny piece of unknown metal from the UFO that crashed near Area 51 in Nevada in 1947, one of Genghis Khan's wisdom teeth, and last but by no means least, one of Ihate17s famous peacock feathers that he bought, which was plucked from the ass of a peacock at midnight, during a full moon.

If these don't do the trick, then I wasted $10M... Still, I guess Aslan did OK out of that. :cat:

ihate17 · May 4, 2009

I was wondering where those feathers went

Just look what I carry in my many pockets... A small piece of Moses' stone tablets, a chunk of the Berlin Wall, one of Joseph Smith's magic stones, a small piece of wood from Jesus' original cross, a fang from a fire-breathing dragon, a shiny piece of unknown metal from the UFO that crashed near Area 51 in Nevada in 1947, one of Genghis Khan's wisdom teeth, and last but by no means least, one of Ihate17s famous peacock feathers that he bought, which was plucked from the ass of a peacock at midnight, during a full moon.

If these don't do the trick, then I wasted $10M... Still, I guess Aslan did OK out of that. :cat:[/QUOTE]

Now I know.

ihate17

Katweezel · May 6, 2009

Legend of The Voo

IHate, So you are down a feather or two?... I got something extremely valuable, for you mate, and it's FREE. This great pearl of wisdom has been handed down from voodoo generations for several centuries back. I know you are one experienced dude who definitely does not condone any of these voodoo practices that are so prevalent among modern blackjack players the world over... however, your long experience with what makes the voodoo mind tick means you will appreciate this ancient wise quote from one of the legendary Princes of the Voodoo: Charlie Chan

"Sometimes a grain of luck worth more than whole field of knowledge." :cat:

ihate17 · May 6, 2009

played with that guy many times

You sit at a table, know the count, know the indices but hand after hand the guy who just plays poorly and plays his hunches is getting all the cards and you land up with nothing but stiffs.

Had one recently where the Charlie Chan clone is getting blackjacks and winning doubles and the count has tanked. I go on a restroom break and come back during the shuffle. Charlie lets me know that he got slaughtered after I left and that we are a team and I should not have left. I give him my best warm, symphathic, extremely sarcastic smile and tell him, "teammate, if you had showed any sign of sharing your wins earlier I would have stayed."

ihate17

blackchipjim · May 8, 2009

under my skin

I had numbskulls like that at tables and it is unerving to say the least. They jump from table to table with their rotten luck and karma destroying the tables in thier wake. I just tell them when they return that today is not your day and you should quit playing for today.
I of course don't follow my own advice and will jump tables when I realize that I'm not catching any cards and approaching my stop limits.Bad days are just that bad days and should be realized. blackchipjim

Katweezel · May 16, 2009

Herb's Quack Meter

"Herb" - from a roulette site - hopes we here enjoy his Quack. Although he penned it for the roulette freak, many points find similarities with Blackjack freaks. So when you come across roulette terms, just imagine Blackjack instead...

QUACK METER
Here is it is, the new quack meter. In recent months, the number of quacks on the board has gone up very quickly. Some of these quacks are regular people that just make an occasional outlandish claim. Others are people like James Wendall that are completely out of touch with reality.

How do we determine if a poster is worth reading, or whether it's delusional gibberish by someone that is a real quack?

Well, here's the solution to the problem. It's the QuAcK meter. Delusional posters like James, whom we all agree is a bonified quack, use certain key phrases and words that immediately demonstrate to everyone that they are a certified quack. By using a point system for these key words and phrases, we can rate the quack level of each thread and post the results at the front of each thread. If each thread on the forum has a quack rating that we can immediately view, then it will greatly reduce the time required to find the more interesting posts.

Below is the new point system. Please feel free to add on to it as you recognize the words that quacks use.

1. The poster can't form a sentence, but claims to be smarter than Einstein. 10000 points.
2. The poster claims to be smarter than Einstein: 5000 points.
3. The poster claims that ordinary math doesn't apply to their system. 500 points

4. The poster substitutes other letters to represent either R for red or B for black. For example, they may use H, M, L, or W...So far, I've seen several examples. 200 points.
5. The poster claims that they use numerology to win regularly. 500 points.
6. The poster claims that ancient monks invented roulette, not Pascal. 500 points.

7. The poster claims to have made millions using their secret system based on the law of the third. 500 points.
8. The poster claims to beat lotteries, horses, and all casino games with their system. 300 points.

9. The poster claims his system can't be tested by a computer, but Two Cat Sam shows it to work. 200 points.
10. The poster claims that there's a bet that wins consistently. 200 points.

11. The poster believes the "holy grail for roulette" will be discovered any day now! 100 points.
12. The poster claims to find patterns in randomness. 100 points.
13. The poster claims to surf the dispersion of hits in randomness. 100 points.

14. The poster claims to donate most of his winnings to children's charities. 200 points.
15. The poster offers hints in his avatar. 500 points.
16. The poster talks about himself in a daily diary. (Yes, like James for example.) 300 points.

17. The poster claims that there is a secret flaw in the layout of the roulette wheel that can be exploited. 500 points.
18. The poster claims to win $50 or more a day by just using gaming discipline and money management. 200 points.

19. The poster claims to win every time he plays. 500 points.
20. The poster claims to have a successful system that enables them to win on the outside in the long run. 200 points.

21. The poster claims that there is a consistent winning bet in roulette. 300 points.
22. The poster thinks that you can win if you can find "just the right progression." 100 points.
23. The poster thinks that the "hemi" or "bow tie" is a long term winner. 100 points.

24. The poster claims to win in the long term by making educated guesses. 400 points.
25. The poster claims to make educated guesses that are correct more than 50% of the time. 300 points.

26. The poster keeps an online journal of his betting results on the outside bets. 100 points.
27. The poster has either the family dog or cat as an avatar. 200 points.

28. The poster has an Animee figure as an avatar. 200 points.
29. The poster refers to educated people as "Math Boys." 200 points.
30. The poster claims to have developed a long term winning system. 200 points.

31. You believe "Win With Math" is real. 500 points.
32. Someone is going to find and post the "Holy Grail" any day now. 200 points.
33. You belong to a numerology study group. 200 points.

34. The poster claims that using his method that, "It's harder to not to hit the lottery then hitting it. Yes my method in fact it's not even possible to lose." 10,000 points.
35. The poster believes Dysexlic's, or Murph's posts. 100 points.

Ratings:

If you score:

Over 2000 points: You're James Wendall. You should be in a straight jacket. You belong in an institution. You believe in gov. conspiracies. You're heavily medicated and drift in and out of reality. You're blissfully ignorant and blowing spit bubbles.

1000 points or more: You're definitely a big quack. Chances are, you believe in gov. conspiracy theories as well. You should not be allowed to handle money. Other people should administer your medications. Someone else should manage your daily affairs and finances. You're blissfully ignorant and blowing spit bubbles.

700 points or more: You're a big quack. You might believe in gov. conspiracies. You probably should be medicated. You should only be allowed to hold small amounts of money at any given time. Someone other than you should manage your finances. You're ignorant and sometimes blow spit bubbles.

400 points or more.. You're probably a quack. You might believe in gov. conspiracies. You should have your wife or another family member provide you with a limited weekly allowance. Also, tell your wife to hide the checkbook if you're married.

300 points or more.. You might be a quack. You might just be ignorant. Either way, stay out of the casino, unless you go with a close family member that can monitor your gambling activities.

200 points or more.. You could be a quack. You might just be ignorant. Read more information about probability and the mathematics of gambling before going to the casino.

Listed above is just a partial list. I'll add more to the list as I find time. Please feel free to add your own suggestions, unless your a quack.

-Herb
Nice quackin Herb. Thanks pal. :cat:

Katweezel · May 19, 2009

Voodoo tips for the day, only one green chip

My extensive, in-depth research sees that 95.678901% of casino patrons are voodoo practitioners. (That figure was as accurate as I could get it.) To qualify in VD, even preferred color of socks or jocks for the sessions makes he/she a voodoo aficionado. With this impressive figure in mind, I purchased one of these costumes. I plan to get a good spiel, an impressively-rehearsed act, and set up outside MGM and give the punters VD tips for the day, as they file past, on their way to be slaughtered. @ $25 for an individual's 3 minutes, this should be a great little earner. After two hours, IHate17 can leave his table and relieve me, while I go play. Here is how we will look... Say hello if you spot us. ($10 hello fee)

Katweezel · May 24, 2009

Found a home

What we learned on the most recent chat has breathed new life into the Search for the Holy Grail: a system to beat the beast, the dreaded 126CSM. When asked to expand on his current interest in the 126, he declined to offer any detail, at this point. In light of his background, this snippet is exciting news. In the meantime, this must stay here in Vooland, under Psychics and Blackjack. Where else? :cat:

blackchipjim · Jun 7, 2009

The black bag

I thought everyone who visits this thread would get a good laugh at the lastest hokus pokus in voodoo gadgets. My wife got ahold of black bag that on the night of the full moon you open it up toward the moon and say three times fill it up while shaking it. You then put the bag away in a dark safe spot and see what happens after that. It's suppose to bring the holder of the bag good luck with money but none believers should not be around when you do the incantation. I will let you know if the magic works this month. blackchipjim

Licentia · Jun 8, 2009

Katweezel said:

Does equating numbers with God make sense? Einstein muttered something about God throwing or not throwing dice, I can't recall which. Either way, don't matter much... So nothing surprises you any more about Blackjack? Now that sounds like a euphanism for I have been there, done that, seen it all, read the book, seen the movie, and IS THAT ALL THERE IS? THEN LET'S KEEP DANCIN.

Now don't tell me you wouldn't be surprised (and very happy) if next time you hunker down at BJ, this happens. You arrived with plenty of moolah and you just bought in for $990, (just to keep it sweet with Flash's under one grand guideline.) For some reason, you sat at a $50 table this time, just for the hellofit. On the 7th round, with your TC at +2, you decided (against your usually iron-clad rule discipline) to spread to THREE hands, which each carries a $400 bet... not like you, is it... but this day is different for you.

Your cards are 4-J-2... and the dealer is showing a 6, bless her. She keeps dealing and your hands are now 44, BJ and 22. She pays your $500 for the BJ plus the other $100 - (you are so switched on) - that she tried to dud you out of. You split the 4s and get 4, so you resplit those... what else? And now you get a 5 and double your 9 and stand on 13 for your first hand when yet another 4 turns up. Then you get yet another 4 on 4 and double that as well, scoring a 5, for 13. Your next hand scores a 5 also so you double that and get a 6 on that 9 for 15. Your 44 has now turned into I think it is 6 hands, splits and doubles and she deals a 7 on you 2, you double that. Your other 2 gets a 2, which you split. You double one of those splits and after you dipped into you stash several times, you freak out when you realize you have covered all the splits and doubles to the tune of 11 hands @ $400 = $4400.

You are cursing your foul luck on such a good count and of course, it never occurred to you to see that all those small cards that appeared, right slap bang on your splits and doubles, right where they were not wanted, were in fact, something else... But the small cards did not know or care what you wanted. They just knew they had to go somewhere. Unbeknowns to you, they did you a big favor. You just saw a slug of smalls appear, while you were too busy cursing them to notice... What's next? JQ... dealer bust... while you quickly forgot about your many stiff hands, the highest of which was 15. Now you celebrate as you move your 44 blacks around and smile at the PB who can't believe what he just saw and thinks the dealer cheated somehow with you, her accomplice.

Now tell me, wouldn't this surprise you? :cat:

Well, that kind of thing doesn't happen everyday. Sure doesn't happen in testing because I only play one hand per round. I'd be pleasantly surprised if it did!

Licentia

callipygian · Jun 8, 2009

Katweezel said:

It was not throwing dice, but it actually didn't really have to do with discrete probability as gamblers think of it. Gambling deals with a probability of something happening; after the fact, it is unambiguous to look back to see what the actual result was.

Einstein's quote dealt with probabilistic quantum mechanics, which postulates that particles (such as electrons) are neither here nor there, but 50% here and 50% there. Keep in mind this is not "50% of the time you will find the electron 100% here and 50% of the time you will find the electron 100% there" - this is "100% of the time you will find the electron 50% here and 50% there."

Basically, Einstein couldn't wrap his mind around a universe where particles were basically smeared all over the universe - his quote was meant negatively as a parody of what he (erroneously) thought quantum mechanics was about (the first quote in the previous paragraph).

As an aside, Einstein was wrong.

sagefr0g · Jun 8, 2009

callipygian said:

wrong about quantum mechanics, apparently but who knows on the God part, as far as Einstein refusing to believe God plays dice with the world?
:joker::whip:
and might it not be quite probably the maths of how nature works is likely more complex and maybe unknowable as completely compared to how craps works.
i liked what Neils Bohr i think it was , was supposed to have replied to Einstein.
"Dr. Einstein, please stop trying to tell God what to do."

QFIT · Jun 9, 2009

Einstein's comments on "god" were figurative in these passages. Read his articles on the subject.

sagefr0g · Jun 9, 2009

QFIT said:

i've only read second hand accounts of this supposed discussion between i think it was Neils Bohr and Einstein.
http://www.hawking.org.uk/index.php/lectures/publiclectures/64 (Archive copy)
is there an actual article that Einstein wrote regarding that conversation, or regarding the subject of God playing dice with the world?

edit: apparently Einstein tryed to get around quantum 'problems' with this hidden variable thing. later Bell sort of blew that out of the water.
have any links for those articles?

Katweezel · Jun 9, 2009

Historical collision

sagefr0g said:

It's entirely appropriate that here on voodoo, the following subjects collide: Einstein, God and a certain Fr0g. Here are quotes attributed to the great man himself:
"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."

"I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details."
"The eternal mystery of the world is its comprehensibility."

"The only real valuable thing is intuition."
"I am convinced that He (God) does not play dice."

"God does not care about our mathematical difficulties. He integrates empirically."

"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."

Katweezel · Jun 24, 2009

Good Luck Charm for Elvis

Good Luck Charm
Don't want a four leaf clover
Don't want an old horse shoe
Want your kiss 'cause I just can't miss
With a good luck charm like you

Come on and be my little good luck charm
Uh-huh huh, you sweet delight
I want a good luck charm
a-hanging on my arm
To have, to have, to hold, to hold tonight

Don't want a silver dollar
Rabbit's foot on a string
The happiness in your warm caress
No rabbit's foot can bring

Come on and be my little good luck charm
Uh-huh huh, you sweet delight
I want a good luck charm
a-hanging on my arm
To have, to have, to hold, to hold tonight

If I found a lucky penny
I'd toss it across the bay
Your love is worth all the gold on earth
No wonder that I say

Come on and be my little good luck charm
Uh-huh huh, you sweet delight
I want a good luck charm
a-hanging on my arm
To have, to have, to hold, to hold tonight

If you can't get one of those, this might do the trick... Chinese good luck charms.

Katweezel · Jun 24, 2009

More good luck charms

06 June 2009
Man killed by good luck charm
Kuala Lumpur - A good-luck talisman worn by a Malaysian man brought him the ultimate misfortune when a lightning bolt struck the copper emblem he wore around his waist and killed him instantly, a news report said Thursday. Champee Kelean, 46, died late Wednesday while he was taking shelter under a shed during a thunderstorm in the northern state of Kedah. The bolt of lightning was believed to have been attracted by the copper talisman he wore for good luck, the Star online news portal said.

[Blackjack voodoo players need not be bothered by this man's unfortunate demise, as you are mostly sitting indoors away from lightning, not hiding under a dumb shed.] Just to be extra safe, make sure none of these is made from copper... I guess.

Flash has some dismal news for prospective card counters when he estimated that just 1% who begin learning how to count, will reach proficiency. Even more recently, another who should know, has stated that in his opinion, the figure is 1:10000, which makes it 0.00001%. If those daunting figures still do not deter you, then you may need some trinket or amulet as you are gonna need all the help you can get. Here are a few examples. Good luck. :cat:
From left, Enneagram pendant, Tibetan Om, Melchizadek key, Nautilus pendant, Gordian knot.

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