I have been in this position many times, with SO's of different backgrounds and education levels. First of all, Irish's advice is ridiculous (if for no other reason than you'll need your SO's help in the casino at some point in the future). It's one thing to keep mum when meeting neighbors or colleagues from your day job, but it is counterproductive, futile, and unnecessary to attempt to keep this "secret" from your SO.
Here are some things you should do:
1. Go rent the movie "21" and watch it together. This should clear up the issue of legality and the issue of "it's still gambling," and show that this is a by-the-numbers endeavor, like other forms of investment.
2. You should consider watching the movie "Rounders" together, but you should probably watch the movie alone first. The movie addresses this exact issue, with Matt Damon trying to show his girlfriend that this isn't gambling. However, in the end the bridge just cannot be crossed and they break up, with Matt Damon leaving to find his game in Vegas. So this may not have the happy ending that you want to watch with your SO. But watch the movie yourself and decide.
3. Once you complete Step #1, then you have to dispel the "MIT Myth" with your SO. This can be accomplished in two ways. First, you could buy Exhibit CAA and make your SO read the pages -21 thru 0. Second, you should show your SO a demonstration. A demonstration of skill can sometimes work as a substitute for actual results, at least for a while. If your SO can see that you actually have information that the average idiot does not, then he may be convinced that you actually have an edge. (On my first playing trip with a particular girl about ten years ago, she was losing confidence as we were losing, despite my protests that this was merely a brief spell of bad luck. When I whispered into her ear that the dealer had a Queen-Ten-Three in the hole and then the dealer flipped over Queen-Ten-Three, then she became an instant believer, even though we lost the hand.) In your case, the demonstration is this (but practice on your own to make sure that you won't fail): have your SO deal 51 cards of a single deck (or 311 cards of a 6-deck shoe), and then you tell him whether the last card is High, Medium, or Low (according to your count). This simple demonstration shows that this isn't just random gambling.
4. The problem that no one has mentioned, but which I think is actually your major underlying problem, even though your SO would never admit this, and you might even defend him and not admit it either, is the following thought process:
A. To count cards, you need to be some genius, like Rain Man or MIT geeks.
B. My girlfriend thinks she can count cards.
C. I know that I cannot count cards.
D. If the facts of A, B, and C are true, then my girlfriend is smarter than me, or at least she thinks she's smarter than me.
E. Ego meltdown!
F. To avoid Step E, go back to Step B, and tell girlfriend she is a gambling fool.
How can your boyfriend, who, if he is from the Midwest where men are supposed to wear the pants and women are sweethearts, come to grips with your surpassing of his ability in an area involving intelligence, especially in a field (playing cards) that is traditionally dominated by men? He cannot.
Here is how to solve this problem. First, you have to downplay the difficulty of counting cards. You have to dispel Step A of the thought process above. It may help to suggest that your arguments are from external sources, and not your own creation, i.e., instead of "Counting cards is actually not that complicated," say "According to this book by Kevin Blackwood, counting cards is actually not that complicated." Attack Step B by showing your boyfriend that learning this is difficult for you (even if you pick it up easily), and you need to work hard at it and practice. If you show him that you pick it up too easily, he will be intimidated about joining you in this venture. Attack Steps B/C/D/E with the following ploy: Get your boyfriend involved, by enlisting his help to handle a piece that is "too hard" for you. In particular, tell him after some practice that you think you can count the HiLo fairly competently, but that it would help your overall win rate if someone could do the Insurance Count on the side. Tell him that if he could learn the Insurance Count, your casino sessions would be stronger, but that it's too much for you to handle, especially since it's a 2-level count, compared to your simple 1-level HiLo count. But you're confident that your smart boyfriend can handle the 2-level count. Now, you and I know that the Insurance Count is trivially easy, so your boyfriend will have no problem succeeding with it after minor practice, and then he will have the satisfaction of knowing a 2-level count, while you use only a 1-level count. Tell him that buying insurance is the most important play that a card counter can make, and that his contribution with the Insurance Count is critical.
The other things you will need to do will indeed depend on what your SO's real agenda is. I'm quite confident that competitiveness with you is part of it, even if neither of you will admit it. But there may be other issues as well. He might indeed fear that you are getting yourself into a big scam that will cause you to gamble away all your money ...
And he might be right!
Another tip: When trying to convince a skeptical SO of the validity of your system, it DOES become important to lock in wins, and manipulate your session-stopping-points accordingly. For instance, let's say that you are ahead $1000 and conditions are still good. Most books, including mine, will say that you should continue to play if conditions are good. However, in your case, having a supportive SO who allows you to play in the future (or who joins you to play) is important to your lifetime EV, so you should probably just lock in the $1000 win and go home. Civilians will be MUCH more easily convinced if you come home 8 out of 10 times as a winner. In the distant future, when your SO is on board, you won't have to distort your sessions in this way anymore. Also, if you are ahead $1000, and then continue to play and end up losing, this will confirm your SO's (bogus) belief that you are just a gambler who will give it all back in the end and who does not apply proper "money management." If you get home with the $1000 win, you and your SO will both be in a good mood. In accordance with downplaying your own abilities in Step B, you should state that according to Blackwood, your expected win from the session was only $400, so the $1000 win was a bit lucky, too.
Another tip: You should try to Wong out a lot, as this will decrease your variance. By avoiding huge swings, your SO and others will be more comfortable with your venture, since it won't look like wanton gambling.
Let us know how things work out. I'm quite curious.
