Have a Blackjack Joke ?
- Thread starter Cplcam
- Start date
The other Day I was playing Backjack against a Female Dealer when.........
She proceeded to ask me after winning a hand if I enjoyed her Bust....well ya...I thought,: its nice!
She then proceeded by telling me, She thought I would be getting a BJ Soon Hell ya.....I thought, this must be my LuckDay:grin: Upon Dealing me a A3 vs 6, She said SoftHands are good....How about Double the Action? Ive heard of being Straight-forward, but this chick was coming of the walls:whip: On the next hand, I had a Hard16 and was about to Bust when She Announced Shuffle!!!!
During the Shuffle She Asked me If I wanted some Deep-Penetration?? I said the Deeper the Better!! She Says: Okay but, it's gonna cost you. I said, "That's Fine...but, I dont pay for prostitutes!!! She the proceeded to Smack me and said What the hell you Talking about
She proceeded to ask me after winning a hand if I enjoyed her Bust....well ya...I thought,: its nice!
She then proceeded by telling me, She thought I would be getting a BJ Soon Hell ya.....I thought, this must be my LuckDay:grin: Upon Dealing me a A3 vs 6, She said SoftHands are good....How about Double the Action? Ive heard of being Straight-forward, but this chick was coming of the walls:whip: On the next hand, I had a Hard16 and was about to Bust when She Announced Shuffle!!!! During the Shuffle She Asked me If I wanted some Deep-Penetration?? I said the Deeper the Better!! She Says: Okay but, it's gonna cost you. I said, "That's Fine...but, I dont pay for prostitutes!!! She the proceeded to Smack me and said What the hell you Talking about
Another
A man comes home to find his wife packing her bags. "Where are you going?" demands the surprised husband.
"To Las Vegas! I found out that there are men that will pay me $500 to do what I do for you for free!"
The man pondered that thought for a moment, and then began packing HIS bags. "What do you think you are doing?" she screamed.
"I'm going to Las Vegas with you... I want to see how you're going to live on $1000 a year!"
A man comes home to find his wife packing her bags. "Where are you going?" demands the surprised husband.
"To Las Vegas! I found out that there are men that will pay me $500 to do what I do for you for free!"
The man pondered that thought for a moment, and then began packing HIS bags. "What do you think you are doing?" she screamed.
"I'm going to Las Vegas with you... I want to see how you're going to live on $1000 a year!"
Playing at a strip casino about a month ago I was up about 2k and my thought process is I should get outta here, but everything was perfect no pit, 0 heat, I guess the eye in the sky is always there. When a friendly dealer says to me in a head up game " I hate my effin job, takem for as much as you can" " they give me part time hours and no benefits" I replied with I'm sorry to hear that, and yes I've been quite lucky here but I'm thinking I should leave. He then winked and said that would prob. be a good move.
I've been back to this place twice and heat is minimal yet.
I've been back to this place twice and heat is minimal yet.
Vacation in Vegas
Three buddies decided to take their wives on vacation for a week in Las Vegas. The week flew by and they all had a great time. After they returned home and the men went back to work, they sat around at break and discussed their vacation.
The first guy says "I don't think I'll ever do that again! Ever since we got back, my old lady flings her arms & hollers, "7 come 11" all night & I haven't had a wink of sleep!"
The second guy says "I know what you mean...my old lady played black jack the whole time we were there and she slaps the bed all night and hollers "hit me light or hit me hard", and I haven't had a wink of sleep either!"
The third guy says "You guys think you have it bad! My old lady played the slots the whole time we were there and I wake up each morning with a sore d*ck and an a$$ full of quarters."
Three buddies decided to take their wives on vacation for a week in Las Vegas. The week flew by and they all had a great time. After they returned home and the men went back to work, they sat around at break and discussed their vacation.
The first guy says "I don't think I'll ever do that again! Ever since we got back, my old lady flings her arms & hollers, "7 come 11" all night & I haven't had a wink of sleep!"
The second guy says "I know what you mean...my old lady played black jack the whole time we were there and she slaps the bed all night and hollers "hit me light or hit me hard", and I haven't had a wink of sleep either!"
The third guy says "You guys think you have it bad! My old lady played the slots the whole time we were there and I wake up each morning with a sore d*ck and an a$$ full of quarters."
I know the next time I hear the ploppies say that we all have to work as a team I'm going to tell everyone at the table to give me one unit or I'm going to hit my twelve against a dealer thirteen. Now, that would be teamwork. Would it be extortion if I pulled the same remark with a sixteen against a dealer six? No, probably not, just stupidity.
One of my favorites:
A guy comes rushing into his house and screams, "Baby, pack your bags! I just won $300,000 at the blackjack table!" His wife runs downstairs, laughing with delight! She says, "That’s great darling! Should I pack for the beaches or the mountains?" He replies, "Why should I care? As long as you’re out of my house by midnight!"
-Sonny-
A guy comes rushing into his house and screams, "Baby, pack your bags! I just won $300,000 at the blackjack table!" His wife runs downstairs, laughing with delight! She says, "That’s great darling! Should I pack for the beaches or the mountains?" He replies, "Why should I care? As long as you’re out of my house by midnight!"
-Sonny-