Job Alias

[Bashful C. Stupid-Butt]

I once had a dream of playing black jack as a job, but I ran into a $1750.00 wall at the Desert Inn to end my run. I have not been back to Vegas since.

 

[callipygian]

I'm surprised that so many people here have (apparently) serious suggestions about fake jobs that don't fit the bankroll that most people claim they're playing with. If you're betting green, you're probably getting more suspicion by answering "UPS loader" than "shut up and deal". Why bother lying at all? "I came here to get AWAY from work, can we talk about something else?" has never failed me.

If you feel you must lie, just pick one of your friend's jobs. Why make up any more than you need to? They're probably roughly your socioeconomic class and roughly your education, and you've probably heard a few great stories about their work in case you want to embellish.

 

[Blue Efficacy]

But what if I really am a UPS loader? :joker:

 

[halcyon1234]

If you're going to lie, then you might as well LIE. Go for the big ones, and change them every time. Make it so blatantly obvious. They'll think you're either crazy, or they'll never be able to tell what's real and isn't.

My suggestions:

- CSI (New York, not Las Vegas)
- Artificially inseminating cows
- Naturally inseminating cows
- Osmosis un-reverser
- Flute tuner
- Astronaut (but the kind that goes underwater)
- Commercial writer. You did the one for McDonalds about the guy who takes credit for stuff he didn't do.
- You work for The Internet, making hard copy backups by hand
- Deprogram people who worship false Guitar Heroes
- Zeppelin pilot. Just the single engine ones, since you haven't clocked enough airtime for your LED license
- Card counter